Dating Chat tips

Chat Tips to improve your self at Chatiw and tricks for dating online Free Dating Chat: Mingling With Strangers Has Never Been Easier Posted on December 7, 2018 When deciding to sign up at an online dating chat most people face the difficulty of starting a simple communication and in most cases hesitate as to the opportunity of dating online. With the following rules on how to chat on online dating sites you will be able to feel more confident, and meeting new people online will be a piece of cake. They need to know simple tips for having a normal conversation. ... I once had to take a break from dating apps for a few weeks because I was so tired of answering how my day was all the time ... When you meet someone online, you have to create a spark through that initial conversation. Good questions are like kindling. If you pile enough on, things really start to heat up. To help you gather tinder to use on Tinder (or any dating site or app), we’ve come up with 18 brilliant questions to ask when online dating. As the editor of a dating magazine, I see a lot of dating tips from a lot of different sources. Whether it’s experts in psychology and relationships, dating coaches, a bartender, best-selling authors, or someone’s best friend, some of the best dating and relationship advice comes from the most unlikely of places. Targeted Phone Dating Tips By RedHot Dateline Chat Line Experts! Posted on August 26, 2020 by Katherine Category Phone Dating Tips Choosing someone special and who is perfect to have phone dating with, is a great way to understand each other as a couple and how much they both are compatible to spend the rest of their life. Dating Tips Online Chat Sites . Online Dating Safety Tips 2019. August 29, 2019 Laurana McInes 0 Comments. More and more these days, people are finding dates and even long-term relationships via online dating. When it first started, Read more. Dating Tips . How to Find Out Scammers on Meet24. Here are some online dating message tips to help you write something that has a high chance of getting a response. 1. Start with “hi,” but give it a spin. When you meet somebody in real life, chances are you do two things: say hello and tell them your name. So why not employ the same greeting tactic online? The goal of online dating conversation tips isn’t having a chat with her: It’s getting a date. So everything that you say needs to be moving forward to the goal. Chat, flirt, make her smile, make her laugh, but ultimately get her to agree to go on a date with you. That’s what this is all about. Setting a Date Buff: Gay Dating & Gay Chat For Guys tricks hints guides reviews promo codes easter eggs and more for android application. Avoid Buff: Gay Dating & Gay Chat For Guys hack cheats for your own safety, choose our tips and advices confirmed by pro players, testers and users like you. Ask a question or add answers, watch video tutorials & submit own opinion about this game/app.

Dating Advice

2010.09.27 21:54 kissmeniko Dating Advice

Share your favorite tips, ask for advice, and encourage others about anything dating.
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2019.03.15 13:15 bigbeautifuldating polyamorous relationship for polygamy dating

Seeking polyamorous relationships online? Polygamy Dating is the right platform for people to find real polyamorous relationships or dating. It offers advanced features and polygamy dating tips or blogs after polygamy singles join this polygamy chat room. http://www.polygamydating.org/
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2019.02.27 09:22 rainisthelife Female Dating Strategy

The only dating subreddit exclusively for women! We focus on effective dating strategies for women who want to take control of their dating lives. We discuss how to maintain a healthy relationship that benefits you. Read the FDS Handbook to learn more about our philosophy. For personal questions, ask it on AskFDS. Follow FDS on social media and join the official website at therealfemaledatingstrategy.com for more FDS content beyond Reddit.
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2020.09.27 09:33 SnooAvocados9962 (23M) Any tips for dealing with break up due to ex-gf (22F) cheating. I feel like I am going insane. If you read the whole thing, thank you so much!

Hello all, any tips to help get over ex who admitted to cheating? Would you consider getting back with them if the opportunity arises?
TLDR: My ex (22f) and I (23m) just broke up today after 1.5 years because she admitted to cheating on me with another guy this past week. I recently graduated college and currently working full time, she is in her last year of college. The guy who she cheated with is also someone whom I thought to be acquaintances with through out college (he knew about our relationship). First girl I have ever fell in love with and first time ever connecting with someone due to childhood trauma.
Details:
My ex and I have been dating for 1.5 years before this incident. Now I know 1.5 years is not significant to many...but was my first actual relationship with whom I thought I would be creating a future with. This is the 1st person in my life that I have ever literally opened my heart out to.
Due to a rough childhood where trust was often broken (ex. my dad cheating on my mom multiple times and my siblings stealing from my mom due to drug related problems). With my Mom always working insane hours to keep a roof over our head, I've learned to get through bad situations on my own by staying closed off to myself.
But with this girl, I've never felt so comfortable around someone and have never met a person where I can completely be myself. I have close friends but I have never shared my whole life story with them in detail, they just know parts. As for the trust aspect of our relationship, she had 110% of my trust. I don't know why, but I just did. Something for me just clicked with her. I've never met someone so understanding and caring.
Example) When we first met 2 years ago, I was in a bad position, broke college kid, no car, only way of eating was to shoplift from corporation's grocery isles. One night, she and I randomly met at a party at my house and she just offered to help me out in any aspect she could. I had never received help like that from a stranger at the time and I am still grateful to this day she came along in that moment life. This girl literally came into my life while others were stealing food that I scrapped up my last pennies for.
As for her trust in me, I'd like to think it was mutual. There were no major issues that I was aware of and I'd like to think we developed a healthy communication style (I could totally be wrong on this because this is my first time with any of this stuff, just referenced to googling healthy relationship signs). I'm not going to paint our relationship as perfect as it definitely had it's ups and downs, but I never thought the downs outweighed the good times, since we always talked it through coming to an agreement/compromise.
At the beginning of the relationship, I definitely struggled with communication issues and she was open about her thoughts on how I was lacking that, and ensured me it's okay to be open about my feelings. Toughest thing we've done during our relationship was being quarantined together in my 1BR apartment through this pandemic. Once it was over, I made it a point to take her on dates (she did not like the fact we didn't do anything besides stay inside during covid-19 shut downs, I personally was okay with the whole lockdown because I just got to spend every second of the day with her) and everything seemed fine, I just wanted to make sure she was happy too.
Fast forward a month, she is back at college so we are now long distance. We've done long distance in the past such as summewinter breaks and we have set up schedules such as video chatting every night since we both understand we are very busy during the day. When we were in college together, we always spent the night at each others' apartments and did almost everything together...studying, gym, meals.
She recently got paired with a group that included the guy that I had known, she suddenly always started telling me how he is so nice, goes over to his house to do groupwork etc. I didn't see any issues in this since I thought he was a nice guy too. I started getting suspicious when she would start telling me how he helps her out in the gym and how she has been over his house numerous times smoking weed, I got suspicious about the gym (I am the one that introduced her to powerlifting and basically her personal trainer this whole time) but figured what's suspicious about smoking weed with a friend. I believe a guy and a girl really can be just friends, as I've had those friendships in the past.
Today, she called me crying and I asked what's wrong thinking she was stressed about school. She originally told me that she doesn't have the feelings for me anymore and that we should break up. I was beyond confused at first as I genuinely thought things were going great between her and I. After asking if there was something missing in the relationship where she may have lost feelings, things started to not add up.
This was where I finally confronted her about my suspicions of this guy and she finally admitted to it. I still don't know the truth as she claims they got really high one night and the guy "cuddled" her in her bed but no sex, which I think is complete bullshit. She also mentioned there was another night after where they had "kissed" at his house but she immediately left afterwards because she knows it's wrong.
Anyways, if you've made it this far, thank you for reading this short essay. I left out other details but this covers the main points I believe.
I am beyond heart broken and first time ever I have over cried over someone.
I have an exam for my job coming up in November that is crucial to pass. Any tips on how I can maintain focused on the studying/move on from this would be tremendously appreciated.
I feel absolutely betrayed and I don't want to go back to my old ways of being closed to myself as my quality of life has improved tremendously when I simply talk about my feelings. Thank you.
submitted by SnooAvocados9962 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 08:16 SnooAvocados9962 Tips for dealing with breakup due to cheating?

Hello all, any tips to help get over ex who admitted to cheating? Would you consider getting back with them if the opportunity arises?

TLDR: My ex (22f) and I (23m) just broke up today after 1.5 years because she admitted to cheating on me with another guy this past week. I recently graduated college and currently working full time, she is in her last year of college. The guy who she cheated with is also someone whom I thought to be acquaintances with through out college (he knew about our relationship). First girl I have ever fell in love with and first time ever connecting with someone due to childhood trauma.
Details:
My ex and I have been dating for 1.5 years before this incident. Now I know 1.5 years is not significant to many...but was my first actual relationship with whom I thought I would be creating a future with. This is the 1st person in my life that I have ever literally opened my heart out to.
Due to a rough childhood where trust was often broken (ex. my dad cheating on my mom multiple times and my siblings stealing from my mom due to drug related problems). With my Mom always working insane hours to keep a roof over our head, I've learned to get through bad situations on my own by staying closed off to myself.
But with this girl, I've never felt so comfortable around someone and have never met a person where I can completely be myself. I have close friends but I have never shared my whole life story with them in detail, they just know parts. As for the trust aspect of our relationship, she had 110% of my trust. I don't know why, but I just did. Something for me just clicked with her. I've never met someone so understanding and caring.
Example) When we first met 2 years ago, I was in a bad position, broke college kid, no car, only way of eating was to shoplift from corporation's grocery isles. One night, she and I randomly met at a party at my house and she just offered to help me out in any aspect she could. I had never received help like that from a stranger at the time and I am still grateful to this day she came along in that moment life. This girl literally came into my life while others were stealing food that I scrapped up my last pennies for.
As for her trust in me, I'd like to think it was mutual. There were no major issues that I was aware of and I'd like to think we developed a healthy communication style (I could totally be wrong on this because this is my first time with any of this stuff, just referenced to googling healthy relationship signs). I'm not going to paint our relationship as perfect as it definitely had it's ups and downs, but I never thought the downs outweighed the good times, since we always talked it through coming to an agreement/compromise.
At the beginning of the relationship, I definitely struggled with communication issues and she was open about her thoughts on how I was lacking that, and ensured me it's okay to be open about my feelings. Toughest thing we've done during our relationship was being quarantined together in my 1BR apartment through this pandemic. Once it was over, I made it a point to take her on dates (she did not like the fact we didn't do anything besides stay inside during covid-19 shut downs) and everything seemed fine, I just wanted to make sure she was happy too.
Fast forward a month, she is back at college so we are now long distance. We've done long distance in the past such as summewinter breaks and we have set up schedules such as video chatting every night since we both understand we are very busy during the day. When we were in college together, we always spent the night at each others' apartments and did almost everything together...studying, gym, meals.
She recently got paired with a group that included the guy that I had known, she suddenly always started telling me how he is so nice, goes over to his house to do groupwork etc. I didn't see any issues in this since I thought he was a nice guy too. I started getting suspicious when she would start telling me how he helps her out in the gym and how she has been over his house numerous times smoking weed, I got suspicious about the gym (I am the one that introduced her to powerlifting and basically her personal trainer this whole time) but figured what's suspicious about smoking weed with a friend. I believe a guy and a girl really can be just friends, as I've had those friendships in the past.
Today, she called me crying and I asked what's wrong thinking she was stressed about school. She originally told me that she doesn't have the feelings for me anymore and that we should break up. I was beyond confused at first as I genuinely thought things were going great between her and I. After asking if there was something missing in the relationship where she may have lost feelings, things started to not add up.
This was where I finally confronted her about my suspicions of this guy and she finally admitted to it. I still don't know the truth as she claims they got really high one night and the guy "cuddled" her in her bed but no sex, which I think is complete bullshit. She also mentioned there was another night after where they had "kissed" at his house but she immediately left afterwards because she knows it's wrong.
Anyways, if you've made it this far, thank you for reading this short essay. I left out other details but this covers the main points I believe.
I am beyond heart broken and first time ever I have over cried over someone.
I have an exam for my job coming up in November that is crucial to pass. Any tips on how I can maintain focused on the studying/move on from this would be tremendously appreciated.
I feel absolutely betrayed and I don't want to go back to my old ways of being closed to myself as my quality of life has improved tremendously when I simply talk about my feelings. Thank you.
submitted by SnooAvocados9962 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 01:56 humblevladimirthegr8 Ways to Get Involved

Looking for a way to get involved in this project? There are several suggested ways you can help. You are not married to these roles and you can freely switch or do multiple or do something else entirely. Guiding principles are bulleted (open to discussion)
Researcher: reading credible secondary sources, such as academic reviews, well-respected books (pop-psych does not count), or even textbooks. Take notes on any core concepts or helpful tips on how to live a better life. Be sure to note page numbers for proper citations.
Designer: Taking the researcher's notes and applying it to the conlang. Decide how the noted concepts should translate into words and other language features, and what English words they should replace. Come up with the definitions of the new words.
Artist: Responsible for the aesthetics of the language. They take the designer's definitions and create the actual word and add it to the lexicon. You want to make sure that the metaphors seem intuitive. If it's not already done, you also work on the core vocabulary (the base concrete words) or anything related to the phonology or script. See here for a description.
Programmer: The language is designed to be syntactically unambiguous. This makes possible some very powerful analysis tools that can further enhance the goals of the language. For example, a tutoring program for teaching the language.
Tester: Start using the language by translating stuff into it, chatting with others, or using the analysis tools. What works, what seems awkward? We'll probably be iterating a lot on this.
Moderator: All the meta stuff associated with organizing the group. This can be literally moderating the posts, making sure new members are welcomed, keeping the wiki up-to-date, etc.
submitted by humblevladimirthegr8 to ClarityLanguage [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 20:34 Emanresubmudyllaer Verum Weekly: Summary of Stream Games of the Week (September 24th, 2020)

Hail Travelers,
Welcome to Verum Weekly. A weekly post to summarize all the game sessions that happen in the week prior. Hope y'all like it.

Saturday
Broken Bonds Ep. 8 (RoyalCaster)
After some serious gambling from our party, The Show falls and our party is victorious. With Valloween in their grasp, Lazarus shows himself. The Satyr quivers as the dwarf grabs at her throat and begins to crush it. Lazarus reaches into Valloween’s pocket and takes something out. Valloween quickly slaps it out of his hands landing in front of Li'lu. The sprite recognizes it as a family symbol of Vinicci, the same symbol on Gallant’s sword. The party tries to calm Lazarus down as they want to ask Valloween how she is connected to the Viniccis but he uses the command rod to halt the party.
The party decides that they don't really like what Lazarus is doing so, in a quick succession of moves, they manage to grab the control rod from him to break their collars and empower Valloween by putting away the Shapeshifter's Rod. With her powers back, Valloween controls the shadowy tendrils from her well, and consumes Lazarus. Valloween doesn't immediately attack the party as they just saved her and Li’lu decides to ask about Gallants’ brother. Valloween informs them that she has him in the lower prison cells. She will give up the kid, as he is of no use to her, if the party leaves her estate. The party agrees and Valloween gives Valor to the party. Bryan still worries if their oath with Lazarus of getting what he desires was satisfied so Bryan asks about the sigil. Valloween informs them that Lazarus wasn't after that sigil but the research of the experiments that Valloween was conducting. Apparently the dwarves were turning on each other for money, by kidnapping each other's children, and Lazarus was siphoning wealth to fund her research.
The party convinces Valloween to let them in on what she was doing that got Lazarus so vicious for and she reveals that through her research, Valloween has made a Shard of Oblivion. She asks the party what they see and Ea’r and Bryan look into the shard to find that it is somehow alive and moving. They hand it off to Remag for safe keeping and Valloween tasks the party to take the shard to a shrine of The Seven because she thinks it has something to do with them.
The party travels along the mountain and arrive to a shrine of The Seven. While walking closer to the Shrine, the shard begins to vibrate as Remag nears. Remag decides to pull out the shard and take a step closer to the shrine. The violet shard shatters into 7 pieces forming a 7 pointed star. The shrine then presents a pedestal where someone might place their hand to which Remag does so. A violet light flashes and the 7 sided star expands all around Remag and he finds himself in an infinite shadow with a ray of Violet light. Power surges from his arm into his right eye refracting his pupil into a 7 pointed star. Remag stands next to the other 6 violet eyes and the feeling of purpose fills him as the torch has been passed. The 7 pointed star reveals the past seven behind them and ahead is the golden tapestry torn and taught with the center filled with a sense of wrongness leaving being nothing. Remag understands that time is fleeting, that the end is upon the world but he also sees a tiny light, a thread of hope that he shares with everyone else. Remag catch glimpses of the party that the other violet eyes are in. Voices being to sing, whispering instruction, telling him that the Herald beckons, his bonds are broken, and now the true battle begins. Without him the star is not complete, and without his companions he can’t do this alone, only together can hope survive.
As Remag bears the runes of the master the Seven impart their wisdom, knowledge of the runes fills his head. Remag now knows his true goals. They must now travel to the holy cities of Orde and walk a path through what the inquisition left to find the ancient relics that lie within them because those relic lies a secret that will tip the scales of the great war. The party is now free from the Iron and destiny is in their own hands.

Shadow of Tyre Ep. 12 (RoyalCaster)
To clear things up, this session takes place before Moe and Soul of Tyre go to EldarShar'kai.
Once the party makes it back to camp, they start talking to the other parties. Ahst enacts her prank by transforming into dog Raost, and tells Seren that there is a deer man walking around the camp trying to convince people that he is Raost. Eventually Seren is confronted with the issue of trying to decide which one is the real Raost, she figures this out by using the sending stone she gave Raost, and seeing which one responds; being the Deer Raost. The Tops tell the party they had found Song of the Seven and wanted to share it with the Song Blade wielders. Seren sends for Belanovan and immediately Braktor warns the group to never use this song. They then store the song into Toot's Box.
The party decides that while they are there, they might as well show Belanovan the tapestry Raost touched that transformed him. As a devout follower of the Matron of Fate, Belanovan is able to find a hidden star patterns revealing fate. Ahst then shows the tapestry of songblade wielders to the others and Eustace and Seren recognize the third songblade wielder is Guy from the fight in the dream with the Cataclysmic Parable. Within that tapestry there is a star map that leads to a place of power, and it says
“Within us, the infinite walks, the twin snakes hold sway, seek thee the hall of mirrors.”
Essentially, the tapestry discloses that this place is in the shifting city. After taking a closer look at the red moon tapestry, Belanovan finds a power word hidden within the tapestry: Jhasa Oriana. Ahst convinces Belanovan to let her be the one to tell Moe. Belanovan asks the group if they know of the shifting city, Braktor thinks he can connect some dots and eventually establishes that it's the city of Eassemere. Ahst gives Moe the word and he discovers that the word can teleport people to the planet Ori.
Raost decides to summon Delani, a merchant of Eassemere. After Raost scares him off, they use Toot’s sending to contact Raost’s refraction and asks her to be let in the city. She declines. However Derk, another person in Eassemere, wants them in the city, because the refraction Inuchiyo and someone else are arguing, and he likes the conflict this party has started. He teleports to them to get an idea of who he’s going to be bringing to his city. As he is a racist, Derk insults every single person he sees as none of them are human, and he only talks to Mad Morc, who is half-human. He then recognized the Violet in the eyes of both Mad Morc and Toot, and informs them that
“The 7th eye is open, the star is complete, the Herald surges, and whispers the traitors blade is revealed so to are the relics of the seven to be sought those of who’s bonds have been broken seek them, but they will need your aid, seek the scrolls of nidicar hidden within the wizard’s labyrinth, and to bring them to him so he can translate the scrolls”.
The party convinces Derk to take them to Eassemere, but before they leave for the city, Raost grabs Seren’s shoulder as if to go in for a kiss, but just says “ I’m still your loyal wolf, you know that right?” and pats her head, and tries to leave, but Seren grabs his coat and goes for the kiss. Ahst decides to meet with Inu to ask how many people she can take with her to the shattered gate. Inu informs her that 3 guardians are needed to teleport large groups of people.
Raost also decides to ask Madd Morc to train him and change his fighting style to tunnel fighter. Eustace and Seren sleep, Toot and Ahst fill their stomach and the session ends.

Sunday
Erin's Day Out Oneshot
Erin is blasting off into space by the vessel of Aladine. After reaching orbit, Erin looks out of the window to see Verum and the Leviathans. As the vessel drifts through space, it passes a gate in the water plane and it goes into hyperdrive. The spaceship then flies through magical stardust which empowers Erin. Eventually, Erin looks out to find a planetary creature that is similar to Queirg. The ship offers to land there but Erin wills it to pass by and the ship obliges. Time passes and the ship goes through another gate that seems to have opals and it is in the colors of the rainbow. This time the ship goes into light-speed which knocks Erin out. The vessel injects something into Erin's legs to keep him alive. He eventually wakes up in another nebula to find a glowing asteroid. Erin presses the button to grab it and it seems to have increased the fuel. At the homestretch, a leviathan-type creature enters the ships sight. The vessel immediately shuts off as if it is trying to hide from it. Erin does nothing and the creature passes by unaware of the ship. Finally, the vessel reaches Band and lands near a library.

Shattered Crowns S2 Ep. 14
The party prepares to set of to the bowels of Queirg to find the missing pieces for their vessel. However, before they leave, Iron Pipe (Big Pipe's new name) uses Faulty's (Robotic Pet) training mode to give him a new ability. Faulty shows what he can give and Iron Pipe chooses to get magnification in optics allowing to him to clearly see things two miles away. As that is finished, the party goes back into the boat and head to the lower end. However, as they traverse, there are signs that they are being followed but it seems to be interrupted as signs of a caster battle has occurred. The party increase their pace, jump into the boat, and heads to the bowels.
At the entrance of the bowels, there is a giant hole showing that they have to commit to entering the bowel as it would take considerable effort to climb back up. They jump down to find intestinal walls that shine with an eternal red light. While walking through the tubes, they notice rotting flesh and something that moves behind the walls of flesh. Ikkar looks at the flesh trying to identify the problem. He realizes that the rot isn't magical but natural; it's cancer. They eventually walk up and find an area darkening the flesh. Ikkar pokes a hole into it to find a multitude of parasitic beings. The party walks away as the beings move around the flesh. Scrumpo finds a hole that leads to another part of intestines and Iron Pipe uses Arcane Eye to scout ahead.
The eyes scouts through intestine and stomach acid to find an assortment of items. First he finds a corpse infused by the flesh with a shattered weapon around it. Iron Pipe looks at the weapon and sees that that weapon is from the Feywild. He then finds a mirror that is one of the pieces they need for the ship. He drops the coordinates of where it is and continues scouting. In another area, Iron Pipe finds barrels that seems to not part be part of Queirg as it is a different tech level. As he walks past, Iron Pipe finds a pile of treasure and moving bags. In the lower areas of the bowels, Iron Pipe finds a Viaken ship and on it, a symbol of Viderick. Lastly, Iron Pipe finds a destroyed spaceship and a giant mana crystal with another part for the ship inside of it. However, the Arcane Eye is restrained and a powerful cancerous being comes out. The monster reverses the eye powers and cuts it off.
The cancerous being teleports in front of the party. It introduces itself as Bronchial, The Cancerous Lord and False Saint. Scrumpo asks why Bronchial is here and it responds that it looks over the parasitic beings as it is its children. Bronchial plans to infect Queirg and uses its flesh to create another world. Scrumpo warns that there is another being that is also infecting Queirg. Bronchial is interested and Scrumpo offers a trade of knowledge for free passage. Guy interjects by saying that they just want parts for their ship and Bronchial is delighted by that actions as it opens the wound to the surface allowing Bronchial to infect more. Iron Pipe then explains how there is another cancer that is even stronger than him. Guy explains that that other corruption is violet energy. At the saying of Violet, Bronchial laughs as he will now keep his word and teleports the party to the mana crystal.
Bronchial will take a necklace from a nearby cyst and wear its on its neck. The party sees that the symbol is a green triangle (one of the symbols on Amber's belt). Bronchial explains that it will help them so that it can upkeep its promise to a cardinal. Bronchial explains that it is allied with two other beings that wait in their respective domains until they are called. The others are already contacted by the green triangle and prepare for what is to come. Scrumpo asks which cardinal he promised to and the False Saint answers that a cardinal with arms of black and white wolves (Tane from Shadow of Tyre) gave it purpose at its weakest state. Instead of killing Bronchial, the cardinal put him into flesh so that Bronchial could get more powerful. Scrumpo mentions that they met a similar guy when they fought in the dream. Realizing that they are allies for long than they have thought, Scrumpo persuades Bronchial to kill the Archkeeper and the academy while keeping the innocent lives of Queirg safe. Bronchial will ask what parts they need and the party will answer. Bronchial will teleport the parts for the spaceship to them. It also gives Scrumpo a flesh sac so that they won't die if they meet the other beings of the green triangle. Bronchial will then leave the party and to start to use the giant mana crystal to make more children.
The party discuss discreetly that they should come back to Queirg to make sure that Bronchial doesn't go too chaotic. They look at the destroyed spaceship nearby to find the last part, the devil's stolen power. Iron Pipe grabs the crystal and his power suit confirms that they have everything and they should come back to the ship. The party goes back to Bronchial to talk about the treasure room, Feywild weapon, and symbol of Viderick. Bronchial tells the party that the treasure room is cursed but will give the Feywild weapon and symbol of Viderick to them. Bronchial also goes to Huck and, because he was nice to it, make a flesh version of his hat and gives to him. Lastly, Bronchial teleports the party out of the bowels and they head back to the ship.

Monday
Secrets in the Stone Ep. 8 (av5hadow)
Under pressure from her refractions, Ulm worries about the violet presence the clowns released. She asks the party to reconsider the Lantern Lighter’s (LL) request. Taffy informs the party that the investigation will take up a lot of their time and advises that they should focus on one task. Dusty suggests to take the first investigation step to see how long it would take, and the party returns to the regent
LL gives the location of where his Lords disappear, saying that the new Violet disturbance has increased travel time to 3 days. The party asks if there’s a faster method of travel, and LL mentions the portal in the castle. However, using the portal would expose Lieve to the Violet as it takes time to close it. LL asks them about their main mission, and this time, the party reveals that they are under a time crunch to look for “items” from various locations. LL offers the portal to their cause as long as he knows where the location is. They mention the Library of Kacaell, which LL happens to know of back during his days as the Scarab Lord’s servant. However, the Library has defenses which would prevent teleportation without proper clearance. LL takes a chance and casts Sending to Minthis Ad’daire, asking for clearance. “You are welcome to try”. Tirsis says that they should test the portal to the Library, and if the way is clear, they should return and investigate the coast. All but Claw agree, and they teleport to the Library
Once they arrive, a pulse of magic dispelled the portal. With only one way forward, the party investigates the local ruins. The nearby obelisk has its elven writings scratched off, and thus its trap disabled. As Elwood and Claw scratches off 100gp worth of gold flakes off of a statue, the rest investigates the missing chunk of an enormous stone door that leads into the Library. It appears that something forced it way inside, and a violet light appears through the hole. The party enters
They discover the remains of Kabraxus Five (KB) with a large rod embedded in him. There is a scythe and a hat near him. Dusty believes KB died from his soul being taken. On KB is a letter and a journal. In the journey’s last entry, the writer says he must keep “it” out of the Library and also mentions Kalla’Jin. The entry’s date implies KB died in the past 18 days. They also find a holy symbol of Raquel, which is a pocket watch that looks similar to the same one Babylon gave to Gorrul.Ulm noticed the Elvin symbols on the shaft and the amber sphere on the open end of the rod. The Elvin symbol is a formula, and a master craftsman made the sphere. Dusty identifies the scythe as the Scythe of the Found. On the shaft is a poem, and Elwood takes it. The party investigates the hat which is made with fine cloth and gems. On the inside is the symbol of the Black Pantheon. The symbol contains an extra piece which hints to a locked deity. Suddenly, the hat spins, and then a lady comes out
She introduces herself as the Hatter Mad (HM), a former servant of the pre-reckoning Feywild. She thanks the party, and now she says that she can finish her task that the Seven gave to her. When the party tells her that she is in service of the 7 as well, she asks for the 7’s whereabouts. Taffy tells HM that the Seven has been mostly dead for years. HM breaks down, mumbling about her task. However, her spirit shoots back up when the party informs HM about Ulm’s relation to the 7. She tells the party that her hat can take them anywhere she knows of or any location connected to a ley line. This means that every single stream game can be connected. She then joins the party as an ally.
The party moves on to explore the rest of the ruins. While the rest enters a section full of tables, chairs, and four spiral staircases that leads to the floor below, Claw discovers a door with a yellow square. He returns to the party and leads them to the door. Meanwhile, Ulm finds a blue book which happens to be a Tome of Abjuration, a book on basic abjuration and joins her companions at the door. All of them feel some sort of significance from the yellow party, but that’s about it. Nothing magical. They go down one set of stairs. They immediately feel heat upon while descending the stairs. Once they are at the bottom, several creatures look in their direction, detecting intruders in their territory. Ulm urges HM and Taffy to go back upstairs for safety.

Heart of Tyre Ep. 10 (av5hadow)
The party returns to camp. To clear timelines up, at this point of time, the Soul of Tyre group is about to leave with their translator, and Erin is not available. Seren calls for a group meeting. Seren wants to get the party to promise to kill her if something takes over her again. It’ll be the very last resort. She also wants to talk to Braktor to get in contact with her refraction, “E”, thinking that her refraction got infected. She also knows that the party wants to ask Braktor about Band and Azengolt. Derok summons Braktor (Ozzie and Ahst too) via YAPP.
Before they ask about the planets, Seren asks Braktor to bring them to the Night Guard, the faction E is a part of. Braktor calls for Vizier Lozenkor, asking him to teleport the group to Dolton. The Vizier informs the Tops that they are wanted in Dolton for the Wild Magic Sewer Incident back in Bleak. He then lectures the group, stating that the group should be focused on the labyrinth, and he also says that they do not need to go in person and that he can send messengers. After the lecture, he leaves the tent. Braktor gives cryptic advice to Seren on dealing with the Depthar in her head. While Braktor appraising the weapon, Derok asks about the angels and Band. Braktor says the planet is “lost,” but some of the regular folks might be okay. Morc asks Braktor and Ozzie if they can identify the nodachi that he got from Hoto 10 sessions ago. Braktor finally identifies the blade, the Koikuen or Memory’s Edge
In the Maptools chat, Ahst gives Ives amber arrows. Ahst tells Ives about amber’s properties of severing connections. Ives calls over Seren, shows her the arrows, relays the amber’s properties. She wants to coat one of her spare masks with amber
Derok goes to Ahst, asking if she studied the Song of the Seven. She says she’s not allowed and looks at Braktor who says that they should wait for the third Guy. The party then leaves the tent. The party checks on the smith on the progress of their orders. “It has been one day.” However, he does have the three cocaine arrows done and give them to Ives. Seren asks Braktor to make an amber-lined mask and gives him 20 amber arrows and a spare mask. He says that he can do it. On the topic of rocks, Braktor informs them of two rocks on Band. Voidka is essentially extremely radioactive. Negatia is able to absorb all magical power from a spellcaster. Derock buys a Potion of invulnerability for 3000gp from Igor in a very quick transaction
Meanwhile at the trees of revelation, Ozzie and Morc finish praying for their gods. Ozzie prays to Lorn to protect the Tops. Morc prays to Iass to help Seren. Ozzie tells Morc to be strong for his party, and the two of the hug. Ozzie leaves. As Morc leaves, he receives a vision from Iass. Morc knows that the seventh eye has been opened, and the Herald is making moves. He goes back to the market where Seren, Derok, and Braktor are. Braktor just gave Seren an Amber-lined mask. The present Tops agree that they need to gather the seven eyes. Braktor says that when the eyes gather, it will be the start of the final push. All of them do agree that they should be informed of the situation at the very least, but the unsolved problem now is to both identify and find them
Morc asks how to release souls from soul crystals. Braktor says that there is a way, but they will need to bring them back to the camp. Braktor also informs them that the Depthar are weak to songs. Meanwhile, Ahst and Neve distract a shopkeeper to let Ives steal a spyglass. Ives places a pouch that contains 400gp and an IOU. After the deed, Ives writes a message and folds it into an origami crane. He then leaves it on the shrine of Vavren
Seren gives the Vizier a letter and asks him to deliver it to the Night Guard. She also describes E’s appearance as she doesn’t know E’s name. She then goes to Roast and makes out with him as it would be her last time doing so with a tongue. When Seren goes to the portal, (through Arcadum) she realises that she won’t be able to cast spells with vocal components without her tongue. Someone recommends a muzzle, and Igor who overhears this the conversation provides her with a muzzle. Neve asks the Vizier to send a message to the third changeling she and Ahst saw. Morc asks Vizier to send messages to the Violet Eyes. The party then enters the portal. Vizier contemplates the fact that all the groups left the camp and hums himself a bop. A nearby guard joins him.

Tuesday
Soul of Tyre Ep. 9 (SootheBe11)
Last time in Soul of Tyre the gang got wedded, opened the door to archives and sent Erin off into space to Band.
The session starts with all of the party members, Moe, the High Ael, Ano, and Mateslayer staring at the empty spot where the huge mecha (thought to be the statue of Aladine) blasted off. The High Ael starts to question Belanovan about what had happened, and in an attempt to tell them half-truths, Braktor ends up making it worse leading the Shar'kai to think that the party has blasphemed against them. Luckily, Moe states he has the ability to see the soul of another and can contact Eren through Gruff; the Shar’kai agrees and they all go back into the main hall where the reception is being held.
While walking back, they spot Gruff at the altar of Aladine, praying to Crowley for guidance in how to get stronger since he has been feeling complacent. The hand of Aladine starts to seep with blood forming into Crowley. Crowley speaking to Gruff, tells him that in order for Gruff to seek guidance, then Gruff must conduct a pointless battle producing a pointless death. Crowley then looks around in the room and speaking boastfully to all the Shar’kai proclaim that their God is dead, and he is the one who killed him. All of the Shar’kai gasp and become infuriated as Crowley disappears.
Ozzie, feeling the atmosphere in the room, attempts to battle Gruff to the death, however the High Ael has ordered all of the party to be restrained and Mateslayer does so with a simple power word. As the whole Soul of Tyre group goes unconscious, Moe is the only character not to be affected because he is Mateslayer’s husband. The Shar’kai discuss the events that led to multiple blasphemies conducted by the party, leading to a discussion about what has occurred and what they will do next. Moe interjects, saying that he can help in knowing more about what happened due to the ability of his cyclopean eye. The High Ael agrees and lets Moe, look into Gruff.
As Moe looks at Gruff, he falls to ground as his body astrally projects into the astral sea towards the planet of Band with a white thread showing his path back to his body. Meanwhile in Band, Eren has just landed and is looking around at his surroundings, going back into the vessel to look more into what had happened. While he is doing so, Moe appears before him, and starts to question where he is and how did he get there. As they both talk, Moe realizes the symbol of Band upon the vessel as a loud beeping noise start to emanate and a celestial being appears in front of them, that being is Valden the record keeper.
As Valden speaks, Moe and Eren learns that it has been 4,488 days since a vessel has landed on Band; Aladine is lesser angel to Hades the archangel and is missing for 28,448 days, Hades is a lord, an archangel, and “readcted”; Sheen, the vengeful scorn, is in Olstwitz, and is functional. They also learn that the vessel Eren used is in bad condition which may lead to death of the person using it again. To repair the vessel, Beator must be found, however that person is found to be in close proximity to Sheen. The two message Sheen to go to where they are, however Sheen replies that they must go to him. They then ask Valden for any teleportation devices to Kalkatesh, but it would take 11 days east to get to Duldaran. As Moe asks about what Band has to do with the Red Star, Valden becomes nullified, spouting out “error” and becomes nonfunctional. Eren then chooses to go to Olstwitz to find Sheen, using the broken vessel to travel for 3 days east while Moe heads off back to his body.
Moe returns to the astral sea, following the white thread, but encounters a huge vessel that has been torn apart, with frozen people, and ice formed inside of it. As Moe, looks around, his Cyclopian eye catches a violet light, and he sees the people dying, but more importantly a presence stares at him back. Feeling this, Moe darts out of the ship and heads towards Kalkatesh feeling as if he is alright, but before he could return to his body, a time merchant Dork has taken him to his shop.
Dork has given Moe the option to change the future, to shift fate, and Moe chose the fate in which the Soul of Tyre group would not get killed in exchange for a failure in a clash when the Shadow of Tyre goes into the labyrinth and fights an enemy. Moe floats back into his body, and tells the Shar’kai of what Eren is attempting to do, weirdly enough, the Shar’kai agree and are very easily persuaded. The Soul of Tyre group are then awakened, and are released, taking their leave to the labyrinth once again.

Wednesday
Strange Roads Ep. 17, FINALE (SootheBe11)
Last time on Strange Roads, the gang found a violet Ricardo attempting to do a ritual to some kind. A battle ensues, Wode gives them strength, and Nox has grappled him into the dream realm.
As Nox takes the Violet Ricardo into the dream realm and closes the portal, Arcidamus, Zacharias, Mirage, and Koordrin attempt to help her by the power of friendship. More specifically, Zacharias cast dispel darkness to block the Herald’s gaze and Mirage clashes against the Herald. Mirage wins the clash with the help of Wode, diverting the Herald’s gaze, Oun then comes forth, opening a portal into the dream.
In the dream, Nox regains her strength gaining her previous level (level 8). As the portal opens, a shadow encroaches toward Ricardo attempting to crush him, however Ricardo pushes back, resisting the pressure. Then a white shadow appears, joining the black, encircling Nox, entering into her eyes. Nox’s eyes become white and black, with her scales becoming that of a monochromatic pattern, her shield and sword glow with the same energy, she has ascended to her full strength, Nox guardian of the Dream. Her comrades aid Nox, specifically 3 rerolls (from Oun, Wode, and the Mistress of Fate), a +5 to any roll (due to Koordrin’s presence), and a 1d6 to any roll (from the Gambler Black’s power).
Nox clashes with Ricardo, attacking each other until one of them falls. Clash after clash, the two strike, each one gaining advantage over the other at some point. When finally the sixth clash comes and Ricardo attempts to finish it in one strike. As Nox starts to lose her footing and Ricardo strikes his sword against her, she utilizes the strength that all her allies have given her, Nox slices through Ricardo’s rapier, shattering it. The last clash begins, with Ricardo pulling out a violet sword from his chest, but Nox blocks his sword and thrusts her own sword into him. A storm of violet erupt from Ricardo and both return to the mortal realm.
The party, astounded by Nox’s entry and her natural 20s, looks at Ricardo who is wounded on the ground. Koordrin rips the chains of Mirage’s spirit free from Ricardo and Mirage’s voice return. As Ricardo is weakened, Mirage proceeds to torture him, ripping his flesh to bone and dismembering his limbs. As the party regroup, remembering where they have come from and why they were walking on these STRANGE ROADS, Mirage gains the belt of her sister’s voices, Koordrin finds a stone engraved with a note giving it to Mirage and cuts off a piece of Ricardo’s scarf, and Nox grabs the violet book and the forbidden fighting techniques that the monastery holds. Zacharias inspects the room where Ricardo has come from, and found a strange scroll that is filled with musical notes.
Mirage enters after Zaccharias and both study the ritual more. It is the ritual for contorting the song of Creation, utilizing three voices that can be reflected off of one another, a filter to sing them through, and an unclear oath. They also discover the continent of Rynd, a continent of bards far to the west, where all know of the ancient songs. As Mirage looks upon the scroll, she realizes the she can do one of three things: reverse the ritual and learn the song of creation, destroy the ritual, complete the ritual utilizing her sisters voices, or steal from the song of creation giving her sisters life again. Mirage chose the first, and she has projected towards the Astral Sea to where Inu resides.
Inu questions Mirage about her position, about her strength in what she has done, and if she is ready to take part in the bigger picture. Mirage agrees, and she has been given the choice to choose one of the four chords: Freedom (I), Truth(V), Desire(VI), or Sacrifice(IV) which will turn her to a living song. Freedom takes the aspect of life that lets it go uncontrollably, creating life where it might not thrive, and the unpredictability of life’s circumstances that life can appear in. Truth says that some life is meant to die, it is the law of the jungle, the strong kills the weak, and determines which life continues and which does not. Desire shows that all things are found within life, for without it, life is stagnant and pointless. Sacrifice reveals life is a tragedy but within oneself, they can find the strength to go on. Mirage chose freedom.
A bright light encompasses Mirage in the mortal realm, as she transforms her clothes into an intricate golden dress with silver linings floating phantasmally off her body, her head covered in a veil, with her hair is held up by a barrette as her nightmare powers dissipate, and instead, she gains the power of the chord of Freedom.
The gang goes back to Valloween, gathering THE BOIS, and Arcidamus learns of his tasks from a scroll that Valloween held. What Arcidamus sees on the scroll is not a scroll but a peace of the tapestry of fate. He sees a 7 pointed star comprised of the tapestry’s threads, and eyes opening at each end. In the center of the star he sees the mass of violet energy and the Herald, moving through time, the celestial bodies, etching his way towards Kalkatesh.The threads begin to wrap Arcidamus, showing him that one must walk this path to seek the pieces of the prism for only then can the edge be revealed. The twilight station must be visited, the vessels must be gathered, the keys must be placed within their shelf, and only then will the astral traveler reveal the way. Arcidamus then sees other symbols, a red star, an orange star, a yellow cube, a green triangle, a blue cross, and an indigo scar. Then it fades out reflecting against each other, being put together to a prism. Arcidamus' vision fades and the Matron calls to him to walk the path to seek the missing star, the Orange star. As he looks towards the group and towards the camera he says “Shit”.
Nox curious about the violet book that she has gotten, then looks into it, her eyes begin to dilate and her scales glowing a more violet hugh. Then a voice whispers to Nox, “I see you”, Koordrin knocks the book out of Nox’s hand, and she returns to normal. As the party argues about to do with the book, Zacharias notices the number two in Roman numerals on the binding of the book with his violet eye. Nox then proceeds to wrap the violet book in twine and throw it into the bag of cursed items along with the violet crown.
The party then heads back to the Jaquire’s caravan, where they set off for the last stretch of their journey. As the caravan approaches Steton, Jaquire goes to each of the party members, giving them a blue scarf that shows a symbol of elves and the elven symbol of help so that whenever they need aid they just need to show it. Zacharias is the first to bid his farewell seeking a quiet place in steten to rest from his adventure, so that one day when his time is called because of his eye, he is ready. Koordrin is next, stating that he is to find his wife not only because a Tortle told him to, but for that +2 AC baby, then when he finds her he will then follow the path of Cassius. As Nox’s mission comes to a close, a new one begins for she has seen what was in the violet tome. Nox saw her sisters fallen to violet ash, the blue ribbon of the Alice flown away, and the feywild loss. Nox must gather her scattered sisters, and in her dreams Oun has shown her visions of Tomen and Li’lu who has found the weeping rabbit, for perhaps she can walk the path of the Alice. Mirage, now filled with purpose as one of the Chords, travels towards the island of Tyre where she may help the three groups in fighting the wizard’s labyrinth. Arcidamus is the last to leave, now feeling the call of fate, he travels towards the Badlands where he seeks the old remains of the elven archives as to perhaps find clues to find the Orange star.

Death and Debts Ep. 7
The party fights the gray acolytes they found in the sewers. In the midst of the fight, they are ambushed from behind by a mercenary that can control spirits. They kill the gray acolytes but try to convince to mercenary to surrender as they don't want to kill her. The mercenary refuses and knocks out Umi and Zara. Vaeri sees this and delivers the lethal blow to the mercenary ending combat. As she falls to the ground, a silver mirror drops out of her. Revlis and Umi look at the mirror and sees that it is hallowed but not by Wode or Oun. They pass it around until it reaches to Terryn. As she looks into the mirror, her eyes dilate and visions flow into her mind. Terryn appears on a path of shattered glass; before her stands a citadel of reflections and symbols of a two-headed serpent. She walks through until she reaches a gate to find shadows of other changelings. Terryn turns around to find a white serpent who says "Welcome home, child" and they have much to discuss. Terryn asks where she is and finds another white serpent behind but both are connected. The two serpent heads discuss and guides her to a fountain of liquid glass. One snake head touches the fountain and it becomes a giant mirror. Terryn gazes into a mirror and falls through it.
Terryn teleports to the vast Astral Sea and Tomen stands besides her. The god tells Terryn that he is her brother. Tomen explains that he is the only male that came from the Hags as he was the first. He the shifts topics by telling Terryn that their kin might finally have a home since she is here. However, that has to wait as the enemy moves across the sky and the seventh eye is open. Tomen urges Terryn to meet with her sisters to create the Trigram so that the lost Isles of the Vega can be revealed. Terryn asks if he is related to Wode and Tomen responds that both were made from the dream. Lastly, Tomen shows Terryn the sisters she must seek in the Arcane Labyrinth.
While Revlis holds the mirror wondering where Terryn went, the changeling comes out of the mirror on to of her. Terryn runs around overwhelmed by what she saw and passes out. The party then loots the mercenary to find some documents and in there was a letter. It says how the mercenary is one of the last people that can open a gate and she is very important to somebody plans. Madeleine goes into another room to find potent tonics of Haste, Invulnerability, Flight, and Giant Strength. The party divides the tonics amongst each other. The then decide what they will do next week.

Thanks for reading.
submitted by Emanresubmudyllaer to cadum [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 17:29 Finiouss Q&A for V7

I just wanted to get something started here for us all to communicate about the update. There seems to be a lot of changes and very little info on what and how.
Edit: found the info and pasted below.
v7.0 - 25th September 020 (Update via the Play Store)
Crafting is now available! You can access crafting via the main menu button on the android app or "Character" drop-down on the web app.
The item that you can craft depends on your crafting level. The higher your crafting level, the better the items will be.
Crafting opens the doors to future possibilities such as item upgrades, and much more!.
Only a limited amount of items can be crafted at the moment. New items will gradually be added.
The app now has a bottom toolbar with the following options; home, messages, travel, notifications, and profile.
The profile now has a pop up that displays the characters stats and status. This can be accessed by the bottom toolbar.
The character area on the left menu has been removed (Android only).
Travel, world bosses, travel arena, profile, character and community have been removed from the main menu.
The battle arena has been changed to "battle" and it will act as a hub for both NPCs and PVP.
The chat now can be swiped from the right and will span across the entire height of the device in the same way that the menu does.
A link to the games official social media has been added to the android menu.
A direct link to the discussion boards has been to the menu.
The inventory icon has been updated.
The preferences icon has been updated.
Events now has its own special area. This is for official SimpleMMO events and specially chosen community ran events.
Every event that the game holds will be within this events area and will contain a description, start date, and end date. The next event being Halloween.
You can now acquire skills! woodcutting, mining, fishing, and treasure hunting.
Each skill has its own experience points and level.
You must reach a certain level to be able to gather the materials for said skill. For example, to mine a "Red Pine Tree", you must have at least a level 50 woodcutting skill.
You also must have the correct type of equipment in order to gather the material. The equipment rarity must equal, or be higher than the material that you are going to gather. For example, the "Red Pine Tree" is epic. That means that you need atleast an Epic wood axe.
Starting items can be purchased from Toms Tools shop located in various towns.
Materials are gathered from travelling. Different locations have different drop rates for each material. Some may have more trees than others likewise with fishing ponds, and hidden treasures.
Each material that you stumble across will have a random amount of materials associated to it. You may come across a tree that will give out 4 pieces of wood before it is exhausted whereas another might give out 7.
In order to gather the material, you need to hold the button for about 3-4 seconds.
There are sound effects when you are gathering the materials.
Showcased avatars in the profile now appear on the top of the profile page (Android).
Gradients now don't show on solid profile backgrounds
There is now a chat cooldown. A player cannot post within 5 seconds of each other.
The in-game rules have been updated.
A player can delete their own discussion board if it has been posted within 5 minutes, and it has no replies.
The knight is now displayed on a players profile page.
The quick action buttons on a profile have been updated to include text.
The reputation buttons on a players profile have been moved to near the reputation area.
A player can generate battle arena enemies using bank gold for a fee.
Moderators have the ability to remove avatars with a refund.
The attack button is now visibly disabled when a player is not attackable.
The circular strength, defence, and dexterity displays have been changed to blocks on a players profile (Android only)
A players profile will display what percentile they are in regarding the stats to the above.
Special attack is now also visible on the profile.
A page that lists all player notes is accessible via the character page.
Each skill level is also displayed on the players profile.
A leaderboard for total bounties completed.
The tutorial has been changed to simple pop-ups rather than a hand-holding guide.
A filter has been added for new inappropriate usernames.
All names now get a unique 4 digit assigned to their profile.
Anyone can use any username now.
A player can purchase diamonds to get a custom unique 4 digit number.
You can throw rotten tomatoes at banned players.
You can get an award for throwing tomatoes at banned players.
You can get a reward for gifting players diamonds. This will only be counted since the start of this update.
There are more awards for the amount of bounties that have been completed.
The server time is now displayed on the character popup so it is accessible anywhere.
Design changes on lots of pages.
The log in page has been updated.
The register page has been updated.
Gren the Bitter now gives out game tips.
The diamond store rewards area has been completely redesigned.
The game will automatically hold new sales on the rewards every week.
Items listed in a players profile feed have been grouped together per day.
A new frequently asked questions area. You can access this area by going to Support -> Frequently Asked Questions
The energy refill location has been moved to avoid the possibility of a misclick.
Icons have been added to the preferences (now settings) page.
You can view your past diamond purchases. This does not yet include diamond store reward purchases.
Players can now manually deactivate their safe mode for a fee.
Avatars get automatically added into the game after 24 hours if they are not manually approved or denied.
You are unable to turn on safe mode until 10 minutes after PKing.
Numbers automatically get commas added into the field when typing into number boxes.
It's now possible to get rid of your knight.
You can enable notifications for items that have been sold on the market.
You can now wave up to 5 times per day.
Guilds now auto surrender after 14 days if there has been no response.
Push notifications can be enabled for waved.
Minor quality of life changes.
Minor design changes.
The battle page for both PvE and PvP have been updated to the newest design.
Battling PvE and PvP now has sound effects.
The sound effects can be enabled/disabled via the preferences page.
An inventory limit has been displayed on the top of the inventory page.
You can now store items. Storing items is a secondary inventory with zero limits. However, you are unable to use any items that are in the storage.
Item popups now appear in the side chat rather than behind the chat when its open.
The game leverages caching much more now which should see an increase in performance.
You can collect items! - You are now able to collect any item type. By adding an item to a collection, you can redeem a chest for diamonds, gold, and exp. The later chests even include awards!
The about page has been completely updated.
The about page now lists a Hall of Fame.
Dark mode has been added to the native android app which includes a dark navigation menu.
Dark mode has had general improvements across the board. More is to come.
You can collect diamond shards (using treasure hunting) which can be crafted into a bag of diamonds!
A bag of diamonds allows you to redeem diamonds on your account.
Diamond shards and a bag of diamonds are not tradable and are account bound.
The games advertisement function has had a complete overhaul.
The player pop-up now displays your skill and crafting levels.
You can pay diamonds to highlight a discussion board post.
The encounter chances for materials are displayed on the horse and carriage page when you press on a location.
There is now a leaderboard for: Crafting, Fishing, Treasure Hunting, Mining, and Woodcutting.
The battle arena now has a quick way for you to generate a PvP enemy.
Locked accounts now cannot sell items on the market.
The links on the entry home page now open up in a new pop-up.
Fixed scrolling bug for players in the beta.
The bottom tool bar will hide when scrolling down the page.
Items bought in the NPC shop cannot be collected.
Gren the Bitter now appears on the registration page.
You can now purchase plebeian membership via the web app.
The early version of the public API is available. It can be accessed on the footer of the web app.
Total gold gained by the knight is now viewable
Members (plebs) now get 40 diamonds per month (it was 30)
You can now gift pleb membership via the web app.
submitted by Finiouss to SimpleMMO [link] [comments]


2020.09.26 03:53 PopularTradition Another surfer hit me on their wave. Should I be angry or apologetic? - Surf Culture Question

Hi all,
TLDR - local Mexican guy hits me while surfing a wave on my 3rd day surfing ever in Sayulita, Nayarit. I did my best to leave his wave. In a Mexican tourist town. No blood drawn. Nothing fatal. But a personal boundary violation nonetheless. I shake it off. I was at 6 hours of surfing at this point. Exhausted. Sun burnt. I immediately said a lo siento (I am sorry) when we both resurfaced. He goes straight to English which tells me he knows that I speak English. (Days 1 and 2 shows me they thought I was Mexican going straight to Spanish on me. This adds to me thinking he could have been targeting me. I never spoke English within earshot of him. Or the masajera told him. Word travels quickly in the pueblo.). He said he could not get out of the way.
His smile and saying he could not get out of the way threw me off. Perhaps he was genuine. He tells me this next wave is good to take. I just hit it. Stopped. Leashes are tied. Missed it. I tell him this is my 3rd time surfing ever. I can see he is trying to direct me to an easier part of the beach. Then he gets a thought - I need lessons. He needs money. And the peso binds us all together once again. I ask from who. From him! Fist bump each other. Names swapped. Situation turned around - I have a lesson with him next Monday for 600 pesos ($27 USD).
Got out of the water after that.
My questions are- is this an accident or could he have gotten out of the way (given he works as an instructor at a surf school) and not hit me?
How should I act next time this happens with another surfer?
I remember the day 1 local Mexican guy did not hit me on his wave I was trying to escape (below). But yelled at me in Spanish instead when he resurfaced. (A little intimidating for a first time surfer jajaja).
Trying to figure out how to act in the water. Respectful is my default, but you also have to clap back when someone is over the line. That is global. I am reading localism is a problem world-wide. Maybe that is what I experienced. Let me know.
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More background:
3rd time surfing every today. Learning in a small Mexican pueblo that gets a lot of tourists by myself. Half local Mexicans and half white American/English/French demographic. Probably only 6-7 sufers out at this part of the beach at a time. Small rollers. No tubes. Perfect place to learn.
Anyways, I stayed silent on days 1 and 2 on the water.
Bought a massage for an hour. Made friends with the lady there 7 days a week. Park in a sketch alley with what looks like homeless guys manning a bathroom that charges $20p. Always greet them with kindness. Vendors on the beach - buying when I can to show some love.
Establishing relationships. Spending money is the fastest way to do that in Mexico.
So far - no one has taken my little backpack and beach towel. I leave my wallet in the car.
Tried to learn on my own with my 8ft Costco Wave Storm Surfboard. Due to my ambiguous complexion (I am super tan and have a black beard/mustache) I could tell people were eyeing me up and down. The blonde white Americans thinking maybe I did not speak English, but looked more like them. The Mexicans had some trepidation, but were friendlier.
I know the Mexicans thought I was Spanish when I was trying to get out of a local Mexican guy's wave. Instead of hitting me he gave up on it. He started to speak Spanish angrily. Now I do speak Spanish decently, but to disarm him I decided to look at him like I did not understand. He was yelling. Get the hell out of the way, etc. No swear words though. Just an angry dude. It worked. But then he switched to English with a heavy accent. That switch took a lot of steam out of him. He realized I was probably a tourist. And Mexicans in tourist dependent towns know that their potentially bad actions can affect the very livelihoods of all that live in the pueblo. Negative PR hurts everyone.
This systematic understanding is evidenced in random Mexican surfers pushing you to go to X restaurant or spend money somewhere. I like how the whole town is working to market each other in that way.
Anyways, Day 3. I break the silence. I start light chats with surfers.
1st, a French guy. I just give a PSA letting him know it is my 3rd time ever. He starts helping me out. Real cool guy. He points out when a local Mexican dude cuts the line coming in. That is not cool. But says he has surfed everywhere around the world. That entitlement is a general local trend. I think I pushed the line with him by asking him to get lunch. Trying to make friends. Although he said both he and his girlfriend got food poisioning, he also said they just got there yesterday. Do not think he had a GF. But I was just being friendly. Before he left we exchanged names. It ended on a good note with me thanking him for his help.
2nd guy - guy from the UK who I found out lives here full time. Less intensive of a chat. Let him know it is my 3rd time ever. He is just giving me tips on respect and courtesy since I asked. I noticed him and the Frenchman were super courteous. Dropping out of waves. The local Mexicans seemed a bit more entitled. The UK guy insists everyone is cool here. I still notice the entitlement especially in the Mexican kids who do not take turns. It is what it is. He swims off.
3rd woman - two blond American girls are surfing. This time I am wearing a hat which I think they are ridiculing from afar by talking about a careless friend who they "cannot believe he wears hats while surfing". Figured a chin strap on these small waves is no problem. It worked out.
I talk to one just lamenting at how slow of a day it is. She agrees. Give my PSA that it is my 3rd time sufring ever, make a joke, she seems dismissive so I disengage. Perhaps they thought I was hitting on them like guy number 1 because the 4th guy below says to them in Spanish if I was bothering them. I paddle away after that. A little White Knighty.
I did not talk to anyone on Days 1 and 2 (even beautiful blond women paddling super close to my board) because I could not figure out who was dating who. Mexicans are great. But I know the Mexican machisimo well. And I do not understand surf customs of small chats yet either.
4th local Mexican man - just give a greeting in Spanish and a smile. I see he drops a wave early as he sees me trying to get a wave after that.
Not trying to be that chatty guy on the water.Not trying to be the silent surfer either.
Everyone seems to know everyone. Locals and foreigners alike. I need to figure out who is who. How things work while trying to learn. Politics, water, instablity and learning is difficult when you are alone in a foreign country with no allies. No out of reach. But other stressors you do not have to deal with when learning to play basketball for example.
Action in question:
So after all this another local Mexican guy in my TLDR above hits me while I am trying to get out of his wave.
Trying to figure out how I should act next time if I am making a best effort to get out of the way and the surfer hits me.
Can they really not control hitting me, do they not like me for some reason, or are they selfish and not want to give up the wave?
I am a trained fighter. Despite their numbers, I have no fear of the locals in this pueblo due to its tourist designation. However, I know how pueblos work. Violence should always be avoided. Sometimes it helps to let someone know you will go there. But I think the solution for me is to keep smiling at people, small talk in Spanish on the land, and spending money on anything in a radius around my part of the beach (walking vendors, beach restaurants, etc.).
submitted by PopularTradition to surfing [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 23:35 MusicDrafts Fantasy Music Drafts... An Explanation

I figured that I'd share something with this group that my friends and I started in late 2016...
We are all big sports fans, and naturally we like fantasy sports. Our group is also REALLY into music. Real junkies.
I, myself, always used to take my iTunes library and work to pare down "greatest hits" albums for each of my favorite artists. What would an album look like? Single/Double Album? How many songs should be included? What was the order? Catalog sequential or more topical?
One night, two of us were having a beer watching a game and we started arguing about Smashing Pumpkins songs and which ones were the best. And it got us thinking...
As everyone knows, the best part of the fantasy season is the draft. You get the chance to craft your team with the best players available. You feel like a real GM.
That's when I had the stupid idea to "draft" 10 songs each and see who's was better.
We shared the two lists and they voted on which was better, and slowly this morphed into us starting a FANTASY MUSIC DRAFT LEAGUE.
Yes, we are a bunch of junkies and losers.
But...
We also follow through with an idea.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's the basic logistics of how this works...
We have 5 guys in the league, and we started a group chat on our iPhones.
For season 1, I created a group of 10 bands to draft (subsequent "seasons" we would have a "band" pre-draft...)
We create a random draft order using a fantasy draft randomizer online, then we have a 10-round snake draft picking songs along the way.
We then have a short drop/add time to round out our 10 songs, then work to reorder those songs to make the 10-song playlist.
We create the playlist on Spotify and then share with the rest of the group. All of the picks and playlists are saved on shared Google Docs file to keep us organized.
Then, we each score the playlists with two criteria: "Draft Performance & Song Quality" and "Playlist Construction & Theme Quality". (By the way, this is the inherent flaw in our league, as music is incredibly subjective. We've refined the scoring system several times, still not sold on our methodology...)
The scores from the individual weeks add up over the course of the season and we declare a winner.
We are now in the middle of season 8. To date, we've done 87 official drafts, and probably another 10 side drafts. As you could imagine, our wives think this is the dumbest thing ever, but we persist...
Here are the bands that we have done thus far...
SEASON 1 Week 1 - Radiohead Week 2 - Incubus Week 3 - Coldplay Week 4 - Pearl Jam Week 5 - Pink Floyd Week 6 - Kings of Leon Week 7 - Red Hot Chili Peppers Week 8 - Led Zeppelin Week 9 - Smashing Pumpkins Week 10 - Beatles - Double Album
SEASON 2 Week 1 - Bob Marley Week 2 - G-Funk Era Week 3 - Dispatch Week 4 - Billy Joel Week 5 - Outkast Week 6 - Michael Jackson Week 7 - U2 Week 8 - Motown's Greatest Week 9 - The Who Week 10 - Dave Matthews Band - Double Album
SEASON 3 Week 1 - Eagles Week 2 - Jack Johnson Week 3 - Rush Week 4 - 2004 Week 5 - Allman Brothers Band Week 6 - Seattle Scene Week 7 - Death Cab For Cutie Week 8 - Eminem Week 9 - Weezer Week 10 - 1982 Week 11 - The Police Week 12 - Hair Metal Week 13 - 2017 Austin City Limits - Double Album
SEASON 4 Week 1 - War On Drugs/Kurt Vile Week 2 - Rolling Stones Week 3 - Black Crowes Week 4 - 1986 Week 5 - Tribe/Q-Tip/Busta Week 6 - Kanye West Week 7 - Beck Week 8 - Everything Jack White Week 9 - Tom Petty Week 10 - 1994 Week 11 - Elton John Week 12 - Rage Medley Week 13 - 2011 Mountain Jam Festival - Double Album
SEASON 5 Week 1 - Boy Bands Week 2 - Ben Harper Week 3 - Green Day Week 4 - 1981 Week 5 - My Morning Jacket Week 6 - Tame Impala/Mac Demarco/MGMT Week 7 - The Roots Week 8 - WuTang Clan Week 9 - Blink-182 Week 10 - 1998 Week 11 - Stevie Wonder Week 12 - Lil Wayne Week 13 - Woodstock Festivals - Double Album
SEASON 6 Week 1 - Beach/Chill Summer Medley Week 2 - John Mayer Week 3 - 311 Week 4 - 1974 Week 5 - Bob Seger Week 6 - Nas Week 7 - Beach House Week 8 - Chon/Ronald Jenkees/Tauk Week 9 - Kendrick Lamar Week 10 - 2005 Week 11 - Genesis Medley Week 12 - Grateful Dead Week 13 - 2004 NOLA Jazz Festival - Double Album
SEASON 7 Week 1 - Phish Week 2 - Death Cab Re-Draft Week 3 - Hieroglyphics/Bay Area Week 4 - Jimmy Buffett Week 5 - 1978 Week 6 - Black Star Week 7 - Toro y Moi Week 8 - Queen Week 9 - Fiona Apple Week 10 - 2000 Week 11 - Brooks and Dunn/Alan Jackson/Travis Tritt/George Strait Week 12 - Steve Miller Band Week 13 - Logic
SEASON 8 - Current Season Week 1 - Chuck Berry/Little Richard Week 2 - Frank Sinatra Week 3 - 1971 Week 4 - Aerosmith Week 5 - Prince Week 6 - Foreigner Week 7 - 1996 Week 8 - Credence Clearwater Revival Week 9 - Miles Davis Week 10 - Foo Fighters Week 11 - 2003 Week 12 - Pavement Week 13 - The Whigs Week 14 - Unknown Mortal Orchestra Week 15 - 1967 Week 16 - Anything Crosby, Stills, Nash, or Young Week 17 - Chromeo Week 18 - Bone Thugs N Harmony Week 19 - 2007 Week 20 - Erykah Badu/Jill Scott Week 21 - Undetermined Festival - Double Album
I'd like to start sharing the results of the already completed drafts somewhere here in the community. Maybe post them week by week, with links to the Spotify lists, and let the group at large vote on the playlists.
Wanted to get feedback from this group to see how to best make that happen.
Thought you'd appreciate the music nerd-dom...
submitted by MusicDrafts to ListeningHeads [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 20:52 20kraffle How do I stop being fearful he’s going to leave again?

My boyfriend (M19) and I (F18) have been dating for 3 years. At the start of 2020 things had been difficult and going downhill for us. He broke up with me in May and we were no contact for a little over a month. We chatted frequently about how we missed one another but things needed to change before we could even consider trying again. Luckily, those changes have been made (and still are) by both of us and we are back together! But, I can’t help but always feel apprehensive that he’s going to leave again some day...it’s frequently on my mind and is a big stressor for me. Any tips to get over this fear?
submitted by 20kraffle to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 18:30 1968Bladerunner 51 [M4F] Scotland / UK - Far in the north is a lonely goatherd, Lay ee od lay ee odl lay hee hoo, Glum at the thought of a lonesome winter, lay ee od lad lay ee odl-oo.

He’s not alone in his plight, right? … no doubt there’s plenty of ladies despondent at the prospect of spending the cooler months without a cuddle-buddy nearby to cosy up to, especially as it’s entirely likely the ‘Rona’s going to keep us socially segregated for much of it.
More than anything this older goatherd misses human contact & hugs - if you’re the same then perhaps you can help each other out?
Maybe you’re in a position to work from anywhere so long as you’ve decent Internet, or not to have to work at all, and would prefer to spend it cosy & comfy in the coastal Scottish Highlands, where the bug’s had very little grip. There you can benefit from getting out in fresh air, amongst the fabulous countryside and beaches, while also having some company to chat with over copious cuppas, or can curl up and read / craft / paint / write in peace, or even work out in a private on-site gym.
Your potential host, moi, lives a quiet laid-back life, unshackled from the usual 9 to 5 slog, and is unlike most other guys you’ll know. He prefers reading over TV, walking over sports, tea over beer, VR over console gaming, cats over dogs, Reddit over Facebook, yada yada - you get the idea - not a typical bloke. He’s also been a single parent of 2 kids (both flown the nest now), played in bands (keyboards / backing vox), ran his own business for 2½+ decades, was vegetarian for 6 years, and has expansive collections of both DVD’s & CD’s (so, you know, if you like the sound of music, you’re welcome to browse & use). In addition, he keeps up to date with what’s going on in the world, recycles whenever possible, not overly political, & is anti-religion - so he’s got myriad life experiences and views, and is always up for discussions over more tea or coffee!
If that’s not enough enticement, then he’s also been known to offer stress-relieving massages… does that tip the scales? Sound like someone you could share a house with while getting to know each other? No pressure on anything happening… just be open both to the idea of an LTR if we click, and to having a hugger / snuggler available 24/7… I won’t try & Von Trapp you here (groan!)
Only red lines are no smokers / vapers / substance users, or nuns! - sorry if those are your things.
Please PM or chat if you’ve any queries.
submitted by 1968Bladerunner to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 18:28 1968Bladerunner 51 [M4F] Highlands - Far in the north is a lonely goatherd, Lay ee od lay ee odl lay hee hoo, Glum at the thought of a lonesome winter, lay ee od lad lay ee odl-oo.

He’s not alone in his plight, right? … no doubt there’s plenty of ladies despondent at the prospect of spending the cooler months without a cuddle-buddy nearby to cosy up to, especially as it’s entirely likely the ‘Rona’s going to keep us socially segregated for much of it.
More than anything this older goatherd misses human contact & hugs - if you’re the same then perhaps you can help each other out?
Maybe you’re in a position to work from anywhere so long as you’ve decent Internet, or not to have to work at all, and would prefer to spend it cosy & comfy in the coastal Highlands, where the bug’s had very little grip. There you can benefit from getting out in fresh air, amongst the fabulous countryside and beaches, while also having some company to chat with over copious cuppas, or can curl up and read / craft / paint / write in peace, or even work out in a private on-site gym.
Your potential host, moi, lives a quiet laid-back life, unshackled from the usual 9 to 5 slog, and is unlike most other guys you’ll know. He prefers reading over TV, walking over sports, tea over beer, VR over console gaming, cats over dogs, Reddit over Facebook, yada yada - you get the idea - not a typical bloke. He’s also been a single parent of 2 kids (both flown the nest now), played in bands (keyboards / backing vox), ran his own business for 2½+ decades, was vegetarian for 6 years, and has expansive collections of both DVD’s & CD’s (so, you know, if you like the sound of music, you’re welcome to browse & use). In addition, he keeps up to date with what’s going on in the world, recycles whenever possible, not overly political, & is anti-religion - so he’s got myriad life experiences and views, and is always up for discussions over more tea or coffee!
If that’s not enough enticement, then he’s also been known to offer stress-relieving massages… does that tip the scales? Sound like someone you could share a house with while getting to know each other? No pressure on anything happening… just be open both to the idea of an LTR if we click, and to having a hugger / snuggler available 24/7… I won’t try & Von Trapp you here (groan!)
Only red lines are no smokers / vapers / substance users / nuns! - sorry if those are your things.
Please PM or chat if you’ve any queries.
submitted by 1968Bladerunner to ScotlandR4R [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 13:42 marymagalottiau Creating Boundaries when Working from Home During Lock down

Working from home with Mary Magalotti

The COVID-19 pandemic has dramatically changed the ways Australians live, work and study. One of the most significant ways life has changed is the increasing amount of people currently working from home. Our living room becoming our home office has its own set of unique challenges, including both the pressure to work longer hours and fit more into the day, as well as the struggles of staying motivated and the increasing temptation to procrastinate.

Why are Boundaries so Important when Working from Home?

Depending on our personal strengths and limitations, working from home can result in more time spent in front of a screen and less time spent doing things that we enjoy, or conversely in a battle to stay motivated throughout the day. Both are issues that can affect our mental health and wellbeing if left unchecked. This is made even more challenging by the potential for management and co-workers to pile on more tasks than we can deal with. Setting boundaries between our work and home life has been made increasingly difficult.

Tips on Creating Boundaries

Here at Life Resolutions, we are also working from home during these challenging times, and know it’s a unique challenge you may not have faced before. Here is some advice for making the best of this new situation.
  1. 1. Setting a schedule –If you are generally in the office from 9 to 5, your new working hours should also reflect this. You might choose to start earlier to take advantage of the lack of commute, but you should resist the temptation to keep working well past the end of your usual shift. Try to wake up at the same time each day and finish at the same time too. It is also important to inform management and your co-workers of your hours, so they are not expecting you to answer emails at 11 pm or on a Sunday morning.
  2. 2. Set your intentions for the day – Setting down a to-do list for the day can help you stay on track and keep motivated. Include work goals, as well as easily forgotten personal tasks, such as eating a healthy lunch and going for a walk. That way, you will be less likely to be overwhelmed by what you intend to do throughout the day.
  3. 3. Schedule breaks – When working from home, it is easy to get stuck in front of the computer and forget to do things important to your mental health, like staying in touch with family or enjoying a walk in the warm weather. These breaks are small steps you can take to ensure work does not overwhelm you and leave you feeling stressed and burnt out.
  4. 4. Take a lunch break – A lunch break is an important part of a day in the office, and it should be an important part of working from home too. That hour can be an opportunity to enjoy some takeaway, spend some time in the kitchen and even have a Zoom date with friends or colleagues. Ensuring that part of your workday stays consistent will mean you come back in the afternoon refreshed and ready to work.
  5. 5. Look after your mental health – Working from home can pose a unique challenge to many, and it is easy to get caught up in the stresses of work and daily life. The team here at Life Resolutions are here and ready to talk through any issues you might be facing. We are offering Telehealth services, so if you are having any difficulty in coping with the changes brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, contact our friendly team to book an appointment today and enjoy an chat with a professional from the comfort of your own home.

Contact Mary Magalotti and Jodie Brenton Life Resolutions Today

If you want to find out more about the work we do at Life Resolutions or would like to learn more about the journey of our CEO and Founder, Jodie Brenton or our principal psychologist, Mary Magalotti, feel free to contact us here. Or, check out the Life Resolutions website to discover more about Jodie Brenton and Mary Magalotti Life Resolutions work.
You may also Visit Mary Magalotti's
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mary.magalotti.1
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MagalottiMary
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-magalotti-80584138/
submitted by marymagalottiau to u/marymagalottiau [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 00:49 wolfyin7 Thank god for a relatively smooth purchase and registration process

Just received my registration in the mail this morning to conclude (well, there's still the title but that can wait) a pretty positive trade-in experience with Carvana.

Vehicle Selection
It was the end of August when I decided to trade in my old Jeep for a newer Wrangler, and started browsing online for suitable options (wanted a newer JL with some newer features like apple carplay and stuff). I live in Western Massachusetts and the dealers around me don't have the inventory i wanted, and i didn't want to buy a new one. I monitored Carvana's inventory for a while and noticed how fast their cars went, but most of the cars with the options I want are previously rental cars, and I wanted to stay away from those. One day I was browsing and away from home (in NYC), so the website set my location to be NYC and I saw a Wrangler that perfectly meet my requirements, but strangely, it wasn't in the list if I switch the option back to western MA. I saw the car's location was only in Indiana so i thought the delivery fee to NY/MA is probably not much different, so I added it to my Saved list. When I got home and dug out the title for my previous car for the trade in, I didn't know if I was able to start the purchasing process since it wasn't an option when I search the cars in my area, but it turned out to be fine and I was able to start the purchasing process with the same amount of delivery fee displayed before. So I guess if you don't see the car you want, try to change your location and browse elsewhere, there might be some cars you're not seeing in the list in your location. Now since the Massachusetts RMV requires the title form to be signed by your insurance agent prior to taking possession of the vehicle, I had to complete the form within 24 hours after Carvana sent it to me. I've seen other buyers in MA that had to do a 3 way call with Carvana and their insurance agent, but for GEICO I literally just requested a signed form through their online portal and filled in the rest after I added the new car to my policy, so it was really no hassle or anything.
Important: if you receive any documents from Carvana for you to sign, make sure to check all the details they filled in. For my MA title form the guy really did a bad job filling in my information and I had to call them to make several corrections on the form. And they still messed up my name on the purchase agreement for my trade-in vehicle on the delivery handoff, so I had to write corrections on the form and sign initial for the corrections.

Delivery
I set the delivery to 8 days later so it gives them enough time to figure out logistics. Plus transporting from Indiana to MA is not like going across the entire country, but I was still worried as there're so many horror stories on this sub about sudden change of delivery date with a short notice, or "delivery truck breaking down", lol. Luckily, nothing happened to me and I receive a call from the local delivery person an hour before set delivery time, asking me to send a selfie with my driver's license, and proof of insurance on the new vehicle. She arrived on time with a vehicle basically as described on the website, and some of the cosmetic "defects" noted on the website was really hard to see in person, I think it helped when the car I got was a newer model with really low mileage. It was a 2018 model but only sold by the dealership in summer of 19, and I guess the previous owner really only drove it for 8 months until the pandemic hit and had to sell it. When I took it for the test drive, the deliver person stayed in my yard to check my trade-in vehicle, so I wasn't exactly sure what she did to check it. It was a perfectly fine car so there shouldn't be any problems anyway. I did put in the appraisal forms that there was scuffs and scrapes on the car, but there were probably some more that I missed, but the delivery person didn't seem to care.

Registration
Now here's where my experience differs from a lot of other buyers on this sub, partially thanks to the painful and somewhat stupid registration laws in MA. Temporary registrations and tags are illegal in MA, and normally you have 7 days to transfer your existing registration to the new vehicle, but with the pandemic they extended the grace period to 21 days after purchase. In the meantime you can just hang your old plates on the new car. News came in delivery that the person told me they're having a 21-28 days delay with the RMV because the transactions are appointment based now, and they were only allowed a certain number of transactions per day with the Mass RMV. The car still came with a temp tag and registration from GA, but it's basically useless to me. This means after 21 days from delivery I would be driving the car without valid registration, but since I'm hanging my old plates, it wouldn't really be a serious problem unless I get pull over by the cops for speeding or something. Even then I can explain to them the delay and everything and the cops usually let it go. The delivery person also told me they only had 1 customer that got pulled over without the valid registration on time and that guy only got a ticket for speeding after explaining everything to the cop. I guess the good thing with that kind of law in MA is that Carvana will start your registration process soon after delivery, instead of waiting after your 7 day period to end (at least that's what the delivery person told me), and I was lucky enough to receive my registration only 15 days after delivery.

Vehicle Inspection
Now even though it's basically a new car with only 7k miles, I still wanted to get a CPO check from the dealership within the 7 day return period, just to make sure. A useful tip for this part is that try to make a service appointment earlier, before delivery, to make sure you have a time slot during the 7 day period, because it's really a 6 day period, and 1 day is Sunday with no dealership opened. I had to call literally every dealership around a 30 mile radius to finally find one with an open appointment slot, thankfully. So make those appointments early if you're bringing into a dealership, and you can always cancel it if your delivery got messed up and had to postpone. Again, thank god the mechanics didn't find any problems so it saved me the hassle to go through with Carvana and SilverRock.

Customer Service Experience
I've seen so many horrible customer service experiences on this sub so when I had to contact them about registration, I just called earlier and selected the call back option. The first call was at 5:45 pm, and I received the callback at 6:30, and another call was at 2:45 pm, and received the call back 2 hours later. So don't bother to stay on the line with the "your wait time is greater than 30 minutes" BS lol, just have them call you back if you can.

Anyways, I consider myself pretty lucky of coming out of the other side of this process in a relatively short period of time, and I hope my experience can be useful to any future buyers in the state of Massachusetts, because our experience can be really different to some of the others on here due to the fucked up laws and RMV lol.
As always, I have them referral codes so please DM me if you started the purchase process (you'll have to get a CS rep through website live chat or phone to apply the code for you along with some information about my purchase). I got one for my purchase from one of you angels on this sub and why would you say no to $500 off?
submitted by wolfyin7 to carvana [link] [comments]


2020.09.24 14:34 Quarterlfe_center How To Date During COVID?

How To Date During COVID?

https://preview.redd.it/h95qmwrta3p51.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=bce122f2eaa9661609a202d128576d5c68327a7a
For most quarterlifers, dating isn’t an altogether comfortable experience even under “normal” circumstances. However, when you add in the need to screen your date for health and safety precautions, it can get downright awkward. That’s right. We’re talking dating in a COVID world.
If you’re someone with an active dating life, you may have been one of the pioneers of how to date when you can’t meet up with someone the day after you message them on a dating app. Or if you’re just considering a date after six months in quarantine, then you’re not alone! This is new territory for everyone, and it’s difficult to figure out how to navigate it.
Nothing about a global pandemic or dating is easy. Here are three ways that dating is especially challenging during this time and how you can circumvent these obstacles with grace and humor.
1. What type of date is on the table?
When you date in a pandemic, you can’t just offer any idea for a date and expect your prospective partner to be on board. For most people, it’ll come down to three options.
  • Virtual
  • Socially distanced with masks
  • Socially distanced without masks
Virtual dates are all some people are interested in or looking for right now. They may have a family member who is immunocompromised, or they may just want to stay super safe (nothing wrong with that!). If you’re looking for something with more in-person contact, then you should establish that in the first few messages. While you may narrow down your pool a bit more, you won’t waste any time, and it’ll ultimately be less frustrating.
2. What is everyone comfortable with?
Above we mentioned the final two types of dates: socially distanced with and without masks. When it comes to these dates, it gets into a bit more of the nitty-gritty of how your date may be approaching COVID in their own life.
Overall, most people find dating in masks a little strange. When you’re around people you’re trying to get to know or who you trust, you automatically want to take off your masks (regardless of what you know about their recent contact). However, this can be difficult for people who have different risks related to the pandemic or are constantly around vulnerable people in their personal or professional life.
Before you meet up with your date, tell the other what you’re comfortable with (mask or no mask!). If you’re not okay going on a date with someone unless you’re both wearing masks, don’t be afraid to share that. Your date should want you to feel comfortable, especially if you’re just getting to know each other and wouldn’t have been in each other’s “bubbles” previously.
You should also be open to discussing exactly what you are doing on these dates. While getting drinks or going to a restaurant is often a go-to date, it’s not the most comfortable experience for many right now. Opt for a picnic with takeout or a hike instead. These are socially distant and cut crowds out of the equation.
COVID often brings a lot of judgment from both sides – those who are cautious and those who are a little bit more adventurous. Having a conversation about what you’re comfortable with is an important part of getting to know each other in this day and age and navigating those early stages of a relationship.
3. How will your relationship progress even with the unknowns?
Let’s say you start off with virtual dates – wearing your pajamas, chatting, playing games, watching movies remotely, or being even more creative. How do you see your relationship progressing? At what point would you deem it okay to meet and to introduce the other into your “bubble”? For some, the answer may be weeks or months from the time you begin talking. For others, it may be a matter of a screening process and knowing that a person is indeed careful in their spare time.
Nonetheless, discussing this is important because it ensures you have the same end goal and understanding from the start.
Final thoughts
No one said dating was easy and attempting to date during a pandemic adds several more layers of complication. If you’re looking for love, try using these three tips to help navigate the inevitable challenges that come along with COVID. And remember, this is new and difficult for everyone involved.
If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.
submitted by Quarterlfe_center to u/Quarterlfe_center [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 23:18 Merotingian Tips on how to find Women that want to hang with a Femme Man/Crossdresser?

Hello Women of Reddit,
I'm a 30'sM, straight, single & have recently discovered my long repressed feminine side. You could call me a Crossdresser (not the fetish kind) who just likes to shed the male image/expectations & embrace how I've deeply felt all my life.
I'm really just looking for some gals to hang with / go shopping / grab a coffee and chat. I've always felt I relate better to women and am more comfortable around them than men. Definitely not looking to hookup. Would be amazing to express the other side of myself and have it be accepted ... and really just feel like one of the 'girls' - talk about clothes, relationships, life etc. I guess in the same way a TomBoy gets considered one of the 'guys'.
Appreciate any advice/tips you could give on how to meet women that would be open to this.
Thought about putting this on a dating app profile, but then again maybe I'm thinking too directly...

Thanks Ladies!
submitted by Merotingian to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 22:07 Twenty_Weasels I (34M) think my best friend (34M) might be a terrible person, and I might have been enabling him for years. Please help me figure out how to proceed.

tl;dr: my closest friend might be an irredeemable scumbag. I still care about him, but I can't stand how he acts when he's at his worst and I have my doubts if he's willing to genuinely try to be better. He's in therapy, has been for a long time, but I haven't seen improvement. He has done things that I can't forgive, and has never apologised properly or taken responsibility. He's hit on my fiancée under my nose, making her incredibly uncomfortable in the process; he borderline-sexually assaulted one of her friends; and even since those events he's gotten drunk, expected me to babysit him, and berated me about how I'm a bad friend to him. Am I kidding myself by trying to salvage something from our relationship? He's already invited to my wedding, what the hell do I do about that?
Full version:
I am so sorry, this is the longest post ever. Like seriously this is longer than some of my college essays. But the story of my friendship with this guy is pretty much the story of my life, so please bear with me if you can be bothered.
I met my best friend - I'll call him Martin - when I was 13. I was a shy, awkward kid, and he was a lot more confident than me in a lot of ways. I felt like he was much smarter, much more handsome, much more charming and socially adept than me. If I was a nerdy outsider because I was worse than everyone else, he was a nerdy outsider because he was better. Over time as I got to know him better those feelings faded to something more realistic (and not quite so self-loathing), but my admiration still held.
We got really close over the next few years that we were at school with each other. We read the same books, watched the same shows and movies, listened to the same bands - we had a massive influence on who we each grew up be. It was pretty close to a love affair; it might have actually been one, if he hadn't been straight. By the time we graduated I think we both felt then as if we were the only ones in the world who really got each other, and we were sure we'd be friends for life.
We went to university at separate ends of the country but we kept in touch and visited each other. Most of the rest of our friend group from school was in the same city as Martin, so I went to see them a few times a year. From my perspective, he continued to find life a lot easier than me and have a lot more success; he partied hard his first year, had flings and made new friends, then settled down with a serious girlfriend. He got great grades and went straight into a professional job. All that said, though, I started to get glimpses of a side of him that was desperately unhappy. When he'd get really drunk, a switch would flip and instead of the guy I knew it's like there was just this wretched suffering animal, repeating the same phrases over and over about how shit he was, how lonely he was, how everything was so horrible.
On the couple of occasions I saw that side of him back then, I was pretty drunk myself and I just rode it out, tried to comfort him, and didn't think that much of it. I was going through pretty much the worst years of my life - sinking into depression, struggling to motivate myself to study or socialise or do anything else. I was still a virgin by the time I left university and stayed that way for a while. I was more or less a NEET for several years, with no friends except the same guys I knew at school (including Martin) who lived a long way from me. Martin and I stayed as close as ever though. I got the sense that a lot of the time he felt just as miserable and lost in life as I did, and there was something he valued about the fact that I faced up openly to that (not that I felt like I had a choice) instead of putting a brave face on it like he did.
At one point I got the idea of moving to the city where he (and most of the other people I knew) lived, and he let me stay on his couch for a few weeks while I looked for work. I got along well with his girlfriend, mostly; it was a little bit strained at times, I guess she found it a bit stressful having me around, but I helped out with housework and cooking and things and it all ended amicably. But I couldn't find a decent job, and after a few months of living with random strangers, trying to make ends meet between casual work and dole money, I gave up and moved back with my mum.
A few years after that, I found myself on Martin's couch again, running a repeat of the same effort to move to the big city. This time I had managed to find work before I moved, and had made plans to live with some other friends, so it was just a case of a few weeks on his couch while we were looking for a place. It was a weird time - there was obviously a lot of strain between him and his girlfriend, and I guess my presence made it worse. She obviously resented me being there and I got the feeling that he'd maybe put his foot down and insisted that they let me stay, when maybe she had wanted to refuse.
As for me, I was getting up at 5am every morning to commute 2 hours each way (Martin's house not being the most convenient for my new place of work) and then often apartment-hunting all evening, so I really didn't have the energy to make such a point of pitching in and being a great guest like I did the first time I had stayed with them (albeit I still did my share of housework and shopping...). And the weird energy made me feel unwelcome, which I probably didn't handle that well - I seem to remember a lot of evenings where I showed my face to say hi, and then disappeared into my room without much ceremony. Anyway, I got out of there as quick as I could.
Martin and I ended up having our only ever big row over that, a few months after I left. He accused me of being ungrateful, said I didn't know how hard it had been for him and his girlfriend and that he couldn't believe I had left without any sort of gesture (a gift or card or whatever) to say thanks (something I had done when I stayed with them before); I told him that he was right, I wasn't grateful, because he'd made me feel so shit about the favour he did for me that I wished it had never happened, so what sort of favour was that? And it went downhill from there. We didn't talk for a few months, but we made up eventually and both apologised. To be clear, looking back I think I was mostly in the wrong. I should have gotten out of the situation much sooner when I realised how badly it was working out. I don't think there are any hard feelings between us about that today, although I guess I could be wrong..
So a couple of years later, Martin had broken up with his girlfriend of seven or eight years. It was bad - I don't know everything that went on but I know that for years he'd been testing the limits by flirting with other girls (not actually cheating, he says), staying out all night drinking without calling home, and so on. He also told me that she had some sort of deep emotional affair while on a trip to Israel. And he has this story about how one day near the end, when she had been on a trip and they had been texting and agreed to have a big talk when she got home, she walked in the door and told him that she fucked a stranger on the plane. I never believed the story, but she might have cheated on him - who knows. As for me, I still hadn't ever found myself in a romantic relationship at that point, but I was doing reasonably okay at the hook-up thing.
Then at around the same time, I found myself a much better job, and massively fell for a girl that I met online. We met in real life after a few months of starting to talk, and about six months later we moved in together. I was happier than I'd ever been or had thought I could be.
So for the first time in our friendship, things were going better for me than they were for him. And I guess that's where our relationship really started to go downhill. But I wasn't done asking him for favours yet - he lent me a couple of month's wages interest free to help me get set up in the new place with my girlfriend, and never held it over me the whole time (18 months or so) that I was paying him back.
The first real issue was at Martin's brother's wedding, a few months after I had introduced my new girlfriend to them both and my other friends. Coming out of a messy break-up himself and now doing best man duty for his twin brother, I thought it was understandable that Martin was a mess. He held it together long enough to pose in the photos and do a great speech, and then he got completely shitfaced. Which was all fine until I looked round and saw that he'd cornered my girlfriend on a bench, had his arm heavily round her, and was whispering in her ear. I didn't really know what to do. My reaction wasn't to be jealous; out in the open like that, at a wedding in full view of everyone, it seemed like there was no way he could possibly have been actually trying seriously to hit on her. So I didn't have a possessive instinct about it. I thought - okay, he's drunk, he's miserable, he's being inappropriate but he surely doesn't mean anything by it. I could see my girlfriend was really uncomfortable, trying to get out of the situation without causing a scene, but - to my discredit - I didn't step in. I guess it seemed like it would be too drastic, too humiliating, to go over there and ask him to leave her alone. In retrospect I regret prioritising his feelings over my girlfriend's, but that's the call I made at the time.
She told me after she managed to extricate herself that he'd been trying to sweet talk her, giving her compliments, and that he made one comment in particular about how it was a shame that we were happy together.
A couple of months later on my birthday, he repeated the same performance. After dinner and drinks a bunch of us went to do karaoke, and again Martin was hanging off my girlfriend and talking in her ear. Other people were noticing the odd behaviour too. This time I ended up having a quiet chat with him - I tried to put it gently, told him that she was very much not a touchy person (true) and that he was making her uncomfortable, so could he give it a rest. He took it okay, at least to my face, and didn't repeat that behaviour that night or on subsequent occasions.
The next, and biggest, issue was when we introduced him to one of my girlfriend's friends. He and I had been to a gig and my girlfriend and her friend had gone to a bar nearby, so we ended up meeting up and having a couple of drinks. Martin and this girl really hit it off. They got on the train together (their stops were on the same line), and on the way home I remember my girlfriend and I were wondering if we'd just accidentally done a nice bit of matchmaking. And then my girlfriend got a string of texts telling her that my friend was a fucking creep, that as soon as they'd got on the train he'd pulled a surprise kiss and started trying to convince her to sleep with him, holding her close to him and trying to force more kisses, while she was just trying to let him down gently since she was worried he'd only get worse (like possibly violent) if she was blunt. Luckily he didn't know which stop was hers, so she ended up getting off early and waiting for the next train to get out of the situation.
Once we had heard the whole story, I called up Martin to ask him what the fuck he was thinking. And looking back now, writing the whole thing out, I think I just got fully gaslighted. I still remember his tone of voice when he answered the phone, all chirpy and surprised to hear from me. So when I told him what was up he started out with how shocked and mortified he was that she had been scared, that he hadn't meant to be that pushy, that he thought she liked him back and she'd given no indication of being freaked out. He said how sorry he was that he'd come across that way. He apologised many times and asked how he could make things better. And then, once my initial anger had subsided a bit, he slowly twisted the whole conversation to be about how bad he felt, and how I should feel sorry for him because this was so hard. He brought up an incident that had happened a couple of years earlier when a girl he'd been dating for a few months had freaked out and falsely (?) accused him of rape - talking about how this incident really took him back to that and how traumatic it was.
Even at the time I was unimpressed that he had flipped the script like that, but I didn't know what to do with my feelings. I felt like calling him out directly on being manipulative would have been a hard end to the friendship, and I wasn't sure enough to take that step. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was all a misunderstanding and that whilst, yes, he was culpable for being creepy, he surely hadn't had bad intentions. And back then, I didn't doubt that the rape accusation against him had been fake. What had happened was that he'd had an intense relationship for this girl for a few months and then taken her to meet his family for the first time over Christmas. Everything was apparently going great until one day they'd gotten in a loud row that everybody in the house could hear, and then she had gone to find his mum and told her that he had raped her. So obviously all kinds of drama erupted, she made threats of self-harm and suicide, and ended up getting a lift to the train station from Martin's brother's wife. Nobody had believed her about the rape, and everybody had been completely confused that she would have gone to talk to his mum (who she'd never met before) with this accusation. I think there's no question that she was unbalanced and volatile, but looking back now I don't feel confident that the whole situation was 100% her fault. I think there's every chance that he acted abusively, and if I'm honest with myself I think it's not impossible that he really did rape her. I've never really accepted that explicitly before, and it feels horrible, but it's the truth.
Overall, pushed along by those few dramatic incidents, our friendship over recent years has definitely cooled. He drinks too much at every opportunity, and when he drinks he's a pain in the ass. He loses the ability or desire to have any sort of dialogue, he's childish, needy and demanding, and at times he explicitly guilts me for not reaching out to him more often and being a better friend. He's been in therapy for years at this point but he doesn't seem to be either feeling better about himself or improving his behaviour to others. From what he's told me about his therapist, I have a suspicion that he's found one who enables a lot of his crappy ways of acting and thinking about things.So for all those reasons I find myself increasingly dodging his calls and messages, which probably only makes things worse. I've been hoping that by responding in a lukewarm way to him I would be able to slowly disengage from the level of intimacy we've had in the past and keep him at arm's length while still keeping him in my life and providing support in a healthy, non-codependent kind of way when he's ready to receive that. But I don't think it's working out like that - I think he feels just as intense towards me as ever, but probably with more and more resentment just beneath the surface.
He's still the closest of all my friends in many ways, and the only person in the world that I can really talk to about some of my interests (books, politics, history) in a way where we have all the same reference points and where even if we don't agree about everything we totally get each other. I don't know if I'll ever find a friend like that again. But the things that he's done, and that I failed to properly call him on at the time, have festered between us and I don't know if it's possible to have a healthy friendship with him any more. I don't know if he's still somebody that I would want to be friends with, or if he actually ever was, if I'd seen him for what he was and been honest with myself.
So a bit more than a year ago I proposed to my girlfriend, and we are planning on getting married next spring. With all the uncertainty around the COVID situation, we've planned for a tiny ceremony (close family only) followed by a slightly bigger reception (family and closest friends). I invited Martin before I had really come to terms with some of the feelings I've expressed in this post; at that point, my view was that yes he was difficult sometimes but he was still one of my oldest and closest friends and of course he'd be invited. That's now seeming kind of wild to me, but there it is, that's where I was a couple of months ago. My fiancée has done her best to give Martin a chance - and a second, third, and fourth chance - but he's fucked them all up and understandably she can't really stand him at this point. She's worried that he'll make a scene and ruin the wedding reception. I can't pretend those fears aren't valid. Practical considerations aside, I also can't deny that she has good reasons to despise the guy and not want him at our wedding.
So where we are now is that my fiancée and I have arranged to meet Martin on Saturday, and the plan is to tell him that he's still invited to the wedding, but we don't want him drinking. This is something we came up with as a compromise between a) the complacent option of doing nothing and just crossing our fingers that he won't ruin the wedding, and b) the nuclear option of uninviting him, which may well ruin my relationship not only with him but with pretty much all my friends (who all have their concerns about Martin, but definitely not to the extent that I do). I feel sort of cavalier about shrugging and just letting my friends go if they want to go; people make new friends all the time, right? But I've known these people for most of my life. I've always been quick to cut people off when they do something I don't like (the obvious exception of Martin notwithstanding...). I guess I'm concerned that this would just be more of that negative salt-the-earth kind of tendency manifesting itself.
To be honest, especially having typed out this marathon post, I don't know if this option is good enough for me. This is a guy who I don't know if he's a rapist or not (and if he is, he hasn't even come close to owning up to it or making any kind of reparations). Although we have a lot in common and he's been there for me in concrete ways in the past, I feel like he's burned his way through that credit and more with the way he's acted, and I can't keep giving him the benefit of the doubt any more. When I think about things from my fiancée's point of view, I'm amazed that she's been so restrained and hasn't told me a long time ago that she never wants to see him again. So yeah, I don't think I really want him at our wedding, drinking or not drinking. But I don't know how to make that happen without burning all my bridges. Martin's brother, in particular, will never accept my reasons. And it will only be harder to explain given that I never properly called him on this stuff at the time, and now I'd be bringing it up again years later. And I know Martin - he will tell as many bald-faced lies and double down as many times as he needs to in order to beg or bully everyone into giving him a pass.
Furthermore, the more I think about it, the more I think that confronting Martin with my true feelings about his past actions could be dangerous. He shows a lot of signs of narcissism. If that's accurate, as close as we have been in the past, I think he'd take it as an incredibly personal insult if I told him that I had come to doubt his basic good intentions for events going back years, and if I refused to credit all the lies and supplications that would follow from that. Maybe enough of a personal insult to tip him over into violent or otherwise malicious behaviour. Is that crazy?
So: do I suck it up and go through with the compromise option of asking him not to drink at the wedding, but still inviting him? Is that a reasonable thing to do to have a drama-free wedding and to be able to invite my other friends? Do I nuke my whole friendship group from orbit (it's the only way to be sure)? Could I be putting myself in danger by confronting him? Or am I being a bad friend and too hard on a poor guy in emotional distress who, hey, maybe he never raped anyone, right?
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2020.09.23 20:19 soggy_rhombus Help, my longterm crush has started dating someone else, and i need to move on

I'm currently lying in my bed crying after running into my crush and chatting for a bit, after I've been trying to avoid them since finding out they're dating someone else. The thing is I'm a girl and so is my crush... I'm in the closet and she has no idea about me. She knows something is wrong, because I've been bad at hiding my sadness if im honest, and im worried she might confront me about it. Any tips on how to quickly get over this so I can act like her friend again?? Thanks in advance :)
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2020.09.23 20:15 blogmoneyweb How To Make A Good First Impression With Men

How To Make A Good First Impression With Men

How would YOU like to give EVERYONE you meet ' friends, colleagues, potential boyfriends ' a first impression they'll never forget?
Wouldn't it be great to naturally win just about anyone over because of your awesome personality? Well, don't pay any mind to your inner naysayer'these qualities are already in you, and NOW is the best time to bring them out!
This plain truth eludes a lot of women because it's one of those 'right-under-your-nose' kind of things. Well, it's high time you played up the best version of yourself and share it with the rest of the world!
It all starts here:
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen/
That's right, all you need is the proper guidance to bring out the ATTRACTIVE and IRRESISTIBLE person that you've always wanted to be!
For the meantime however, I'd like to give you some pointers on how to jumpstart the inner transformation process TODAY.
Like I said, wouldn't it be just peachy to leave folks no choice BUT to really dig you? The thing about making a great first impression is that those who are good at it DON'T put too much thought about it.
They don't think'they just DO. In my experience, the single greatest obstacle to pulling this off is getting lost in your own head and trying to size up the situation too much.
You know what I mean: shutting out the person you're talking to (along with the rest of the world) as your brain works overtime to second-guess everything you do!
'Did I laugh too loud?'
'Is there something in my teeth?'
'Was I talking too fast?'
'Sheesh, my joke sure sounded lame!'
'I seem too eager'good luck hearing from him again!'
These kinds of thoughts are POISON to your attractiveness. Being deathly afraid of being less than perfect is going to make you TENSE.
And as you know, TENSE equals UNATTRACTIVE.
So, to put it succinctly: RELAX.
Don't let your nagging thoughts and doubts cloud your thinking. Even if your emotions seem like chaos, you can 'fake it 'til you make it', as some like to say.
Let me clarify what that means: it ISN'T about putting up a PHONY personality that doesn't really speak of who you really are. On the contrary, it's a matter of *temporarily* putting up a semblance of being calm and collected.
Nothing more, nothing less.
At first, acting cool as a cucumber may feel like putting on a new set of clothes that feels stiff and awkward at first. However, this feeling will go away the longer you 'wear' this attitude of confidence.
In the meantime, you'll just have to put up with this new feeling so that your anxiety won't get it the way of others seeing the REAL YOU.
In due time, you'll eventually outgrow it and being relaxed WILL become a natural part of you!
But I'm getting ahead of myself here. What are the things you should do to make people feel you're relaxed and in control?
First of all, your body's subtle visual cues will tip them off on what you're feeling. Body language goes a long way in generating the aura you're aiming for.
So, what you can do is discreetly OBSERVE your confident friends or other people you're often with. Do you notice how laid-back their posture is?
Maybe you'll see the way their feet are apart at just the right distance. Not too close, but not too far. There's something about standing in a way that says you're not about to apologize for the space you're occupying'.
'but at the same time, NOT being smug about it.
A good way to exude confidence is by standing slightly on one leg with your back propped up just enough to avoid slouching. At the same time, you don't want to be too upright like a solider either!
Also, resist the temptation to give away your nervous energy by fiddling with the straw in your drink or that handbag you may have on you. You'll need a place to tuck away those restless hands, but keeping your arms crossed isn't a good idea (as it's a very UNWELCOMING gesture!).
Instead, simply rest your hands on a stationary spot. If you're sitting for instance, one hand could be resting on the table (if you're sitting) while your other palm is flat your knee.
Feel free to mix and match the placing of your digits as long as they'll serve to make you look like at ease.
Next on your to-do list: make proper eye contact.
My general rule of thumb here is to look away and occasionally make quick, casual glances at your conversational partner as you speak. Then, hold a more consistent gaze when it's their turn to talk.
This is a great way to make a connection because being able to visually communicate with someone ensures that there's a healthy amount of rapport going on. This aspect of self-confidence is often glossed over since some folks don't realize how vital this is.
In general, this style of eye contact is flattering as your gaze implicitly tells them you're listening to them. Giving someone your attention in this manner is a subtle way to express interest and joy to be in their company.
As women, we're fortunate that prolonged eye-to-eye communication is well-received received by men AND fellow girls. When we make eye contact, it's generally perceived as a friendly gesture, so you can use this to your advantage!
When you think about it, looking away too much while a person is talking might send the wrong message. It could look like you're bored to tears'or worse, that their company isn't good enough for your undivided attention!
Similarly, not making brief moments of eye contact while speaking suggests you're ashamed or unsure of what you're saying. Visually reconnecting every now and then during your turn to speak implies confidence in your thoughts and opinions.
The last component of today's first impression skill set is the ability to SMILE. Sometimes, we get so caught up in looking so confident that our facial muscles have forgotten to follow suit!
That's ok ' we've all gone through times when our preoccupied minds have distracted us from expressing confidence with a smile. Like the other basic things, it's easy to overlook this simple but powerful gesture.
Now, it doesn't have to be the ear-to-ear kind of grin that would make Jack Nicholson proud. Again, you have to appear relaxed so your smile should reflect this attitude.
However, you also don't want to do it the way salesmen do. It's the kind of smile that seems like a rigid, unreal mask that can be taken off as quickly as it was put on.
You know what I mean, right? They're smiling just because they HAVE to, and not from the pleasure of hanging out with you.
The type of smile you'll need is the kind that GROWS on you during the course of the conversation. Why? It just seems more natural, relaxed, and NOT forced at all.
It's an unspoken sign, but the message that the right smile gets across is worth a WHOLE conversation in itself. So remember to ease up on the trigger, so to speak.
In fact, there's a powerful effect to be found in not smiling much when meeting someone for the first time. This allows you to create a connection by SLOWLY flashing those pearly whites after they've said something to 'EARN' it.
Trust me, creating such an experience for that lucky person is quite meaningful ' even if their CONSCIOUS mind doesn't acknowledge it.
As I told you earlier, you have a better chance of people warming up to you when they feel that their presence has made you feel better. So what I'm really saying is that your smile is a reflection of that JOY within you.
Hardly rocket science, right? I'm telling you, this first impression stuff isn't some great mystery that needs solving!
All the things we've covered today add up to a basic goal, which is to knock their socks off right from the GET-GO.
The first encounter is your best window of opportunity to permanently etch the kind of impression you want to make on someone.
The great thing about it all is that you have the means to make this happen, and having enough PRACTICE is what it boils down to.
You may know the basics now, but you don't study confidence, you DO it. Only then can you truly embody the irresistible woman that's lurking within.
Therefore, I'd like you to try out these things in the REAL WORLD where you'll truly LEARN what works and what doesn't. As I've talked about in the past, mingling with folks isn't a matter of life or death.
Once you wrap your mind around the truth that you have virtually infinite chances to hone your people person skills, the pressure just melts right OFF.
So don't sweat having to practice your awesome first impression-generating skills on the unsuspecting public! Just go about your day as normal, and when the next person is poised to have little chat with you, have at it!
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This article comes to you courtesy of www.meetysweet.com
If you are serious about changing your love life success, the first step on your journey of self discovery needs to be with Meet Your Sweet's 'Get a Guy Guide.'
If you want genuine men, and not just any man, let Mirabelle Summers and the team challenge your beliefs about love and attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success story.
http://www.meetysweet.com/attractmen
No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real women! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer:
Some of the links on my blog are affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, I will earn a small commission if you decide to make a purchase. Please understand that I have experience with all of the companies, and I recommend them because they are extremely helpful. By using my affiliate links, you are helping me keep this blog up and running.
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2020.09.23 19:37 almostdateraped2020 I was almost date raped

Preface I don't normally use any drugs other than a few experimental times in my formative years. I also have a lower self esteem and depression and I think these are factors which this predator took advantage of.
So last week I was feeling better about myself than normal and decided I would go on a date or two. I haven't dated for about 3 years I just will prefer to be alone for the rest of my life after this. So start chatting with a guy he was kinda funny so we made plans to meet up at a neutral location and have a drink. I was the one to ask for the date because I would rather just meet someone right away and determine if it's something even worth pursuing instead of drag it on forever and ever so that was a mistake I should have just taken my time and collected more personal information about this person first and done a lot more research.
Second mistake as the day of the date neared I asked if this predator could meet me at my house instead of the bar, and it was because I had had a bad incident with a Lyft driver around two weeks ago who refused to wear a mask and didn't want to risk taking a Lyft alone which was my original plan but in hindsight I should have never agreed to have drinks either and just driven myself. I mean meeting new people sucks and is awkward so having a drink or two is usually fine for me but never again will I do this I never want to date again and no longer have any desire to date, drink or take a Lyft ever again it sucks but I feel this huge sense of distrust in everyone now.
The guy seemed fine not great but nobody's perfect, he didn't encourage me to over-drink or anything which I thought was a good sign, but he was a little touchy feely and that was kind of not good but I made it clear I was not okay with it so he basically stopped just things like arm around me or an awkward half hug when he first showed up, stuff like that. Anyway after lunch we take a Lyft back to my house and the guy was a dick to the Lyft driver. I should have ended the date right there and then, so that was a red flag and i was dumb.
Earlier in the week in our conversations this predator had mentioned he has a medical marijuana card and uses it to buy edibles, ok so that didn't really strike me as dangerous or odd because its pretty common, people talk about taking edibles all the time. I don't smoke weed or do drugs but weed is like a pretty tame drug and I don't care if other people do it. This predator mentioned he takes these marijuana pills he makes himself and said it was like taking a marijuana edible. He offered to give me one during text conversations earlier in the week and I said no I wouldn't take that on a first date anyway especially not with drinks involved, but when we got back to my house he took out a bottle of these pills not gummy form but pill form so he explained that he condenses them in some way to concentrate the stuff and gave me one I declined it and put it on my night stand. I watched him take a handful of these pills and swallow them from a regular pill looking bottle. Anyway we just sat there on the edge of my bed in my bedroom but I explained nothing was going to happen this day. He seemed to figure, ok well if nothings gonna happen im gonna leave which was also a red flag in hindsight but at the time I was okay with it because I was tired anyway and all we would have done was just talked or watched tv or something. Before leaving he pulled out a second pill bottle (immediate red flag I missed) and said he made these pills special for me and that I could keep them just put them in the fridge and maybe next time he comes over I can take one. I put it away thinking I would probably just throw it away as I was not sure if I wanted to see this person again and I wasn't really interested in taking it anyway. I don't know why the fact this person had 2 separate batches of pills didn't tip me off immediately but him taking several of them in front of me was a manipulation tactic he was trying to convince me they were safe. I realize now by leaving right away when i made it clear nothing was going to happen he was probably doing this abandonment tactic where you cease showing interest and I guess the girl is supposed to be upset about it and re-initiate contact because that's what I did. He was oddly silent the rest of the day and I was left wondering what had happened did I do something wrong, etc.
I sent a text that night saying I just don't think dating is for me to try to just end things casually and left it at that. if I can get so easily emotional over a guy just not acting super excited after a first date and it puts me on this emotional roller coaster of insecurity then I should probably just not date it's not healthy for me to be feeling that way. But the next day we re-engaged contact when he texted that morning with something funny so we talked some more throughout the rest of the weekend.
Anyway we went out to this lunch on a Saturday afternoon and on Tuesday, I got my period. I was feeling crampy and my boobs were sore so I thought, hey why don't I take that marijuana gummy pill this guy gave me! Not normally something I would do, but the guy said he took it for back pain thats why he had the medical marijuana thing in the first place so I figured maybe it would help with my painful cramps. I took it, ate dinner and about an hour later I could barely walk.
I felt high but not in the kinda goofy way you feel when you smoke marijuana. It was super intense, my hands were shaking violently, i could barely hold my phone, i could barely walk i actually got down on all fours and sat on my bedroom floor for i dont know how long an hour? My heart was pounding and i felt extreme anxiety and panic. my reactions were delayed. it took me a long time to press buttons on my phone. i felt like a roach that had been sprayed with bug spray and was lying on it's back with its legs in the air twitching. i was extremely heavily sedated and unable to control my body well. it was like a nightmare. i didnt know what to do. he called at that moment and i answered and told him i wasnt feeling well and was like WTF is this and he was just trying to play it off casually saying well my tolerance must be super low but i think the two he gave me in that other bottle he purposely made them stronger so I would be fucked up. i had the realization that if i had been with this guy when he gave this to me i would have probably been raped. Then one of the last things he said before I hung up was, "well, cmon, I mean you KNEW what you were doing." He was blaming me for taking it when he probably knew it was super concentrated. I believe he had intended to take advantage of me. I made an excuse to get off the phone, tried to calm down for a while and realized I could either tough it out at home and wait for the high to go away or I could call my roommate and have her take me to the hospital. I weighed the pros and cons but decided on the hospital because I realized this man had tried to take advantage of me and it needed to be reported and I was not sure if this was actually marijuana because it sure as hell didn't feel like it. Why should I just ride it out not knowing what the fuck it is in fear this guy did something fucked up and it needs to be looked at.
i finally managed to text my roommate all my reactions were super slow i was super weak and shaking like a leaf all over. my roommate came in and took me to the hospital i was able to move just extremely slowly and carefully my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. the hospital had a long wait people moaning and freaking out in the ER, it was very hot and my breathing was shallow I thought I might pass out but i think my body was simply keeping me up with adrenaline at this point. eventually i was checked in, it probably looked funny because i remember laughing like a loon a few times while this was going on but i was not happy i was terrified it was the drugs making me laugh even though it was not funny it was the dumbest most stupid thing i've ever done. they gave me fluids and the doctor came in i told him what happened they took blood for a drug screen and said based on the results they would determine what to do next. i asked 3 times for the police to be called. each time the people i asked would say "why? you took it yourself right? he didn't trick you into taking it or put it in something without you knowing." and while it is true i took it myself, i can only imagine what would have happened if i had taken it when he was with me. i mean, why would you try to hide it and drug a girl when you can just offer her something and she takes it on her own, right? i even tried to give the pills back to this guy remember, but he insisted i keep these special ones he made for me at my house for "next time". I truly feel like this man's intentions were not good, and he is a predator and it needed to be reported even though everyone else at the hospital did not see a problem, in fact i could even hear the nurses saying stuff like, wow how stupid do you have to be to take drugs and then be upset when they get you high" and other shitty comments but whatever. i already know it was stupid i just think this person who is giving this stuff to women online he meets should be watched he is going to hurt someone if he hasn't already. who knows maybe he has a rap sheet and has done thisn a lot before. i did try looking up his name and info and everything he told me matched up with general info i found online he was extremely honest about a lot of life details so none of that really threw up anything suspicious unless he had a name change or something i have no clue about.
The cop came to take a report and seemed extremely unwilling to do so, again victim blaming saying i shouldnt have taken it, etc. but i really made it clear i thought this guy intended to take advantage of me. i asked if they could see if he actually does have a medical marijuana thing and if so can it be taken away because he is giving the stuff to women in high concentrations he said he would not be able to arrest the guy but would make a report and send it over to a detective for investigating. I can only imagine how many other women this has happened to from this guy. i gave the cop his info and the second pill the predator left with me and the cop left.
the doctor returned and said it was definitely THC but because marijuana is not regulated there's no way to know how much i was given or whatnot but it was probably a lot. he said my heart rate and everything was returning to normal and it was I was starting to feel like myself again so my roommate came back and got me and took me home. i locked all the doors and watched some cartoons drifting in and out of anxiety high. i feel almost normal now but im numb inside and tired but also still so high strung i feel like i had a 12 hour panic attack thats still going on. i keep crying randomly because i realize how vulnerable and dumb i was. how close i had come to something really really bad happening. its amazing how naive i felt, i felt like i had everything under control and I so did not. I thought I was being very safe, asking all the right questions, looking up info on him before going out, oh my god I can never date again after this there's no way I will ever feel safe again.
Looking back there were more red flags i should have noticed he kept talking about problems he was having with his bank for some reason, I mean I truly dont give a fuck about this person's banking problems so didn't say much and just kinda ignored it but i think he was trying to see if i would show interest in his banking issues to try to get money from me as in a romeo scam. He also kept talking about whiskey like he was trying to convince himself he wasn't an alcoholic but I was like, dude you sound like you're trying to convince yourself more than me. He kept talking about how much he liked whiskey "but only for the taste" and looking back, at one point he said it was a fairly new interest and then at another point he said he had been drinking whiskey for years. I try not to judge so I didn't really say anything. He also blasted his exes a lot. He also had kids he is not involved with at all, I know how hard it can be since I am not with my daughter's father too closely so I tried not to be judgemental about it. he owed child support that's one thing that came up when i looked up info on him, again I was trying not to be judgey but I really should have been. i really think my low self image helped me see past these bad traits because i felt like i didnt deserve something better than this. i think he knew that also as one of the main reasons he contacted me was because i am overweight and he said he exclusively dates overweight women, saying that's just his preference, well i think i know why its his preference, i think he is aware someone who may be overweight may have some esteem issues going on that he can exploit. just the fact that he knew all the things to say and do to build this false sense of security and how i just kinda ignored the red flags accepting these flaws and letting my guard down. i am alternating between fear and despair right now. i dont think the guy's gonna like, come after me or anything, but he knew what he was doing, for sure, and he knows he gave me a super high dose of THC but because it's legal and because I took it willingly nothing will happen most likely.
I am looking at pro bono lawyers now to see if anything can come from that i dont have money for a lawyer i reported this incident to the website he was on and I will follow up with the detective in a few days. Im scared and relieved and also so, so sad this happened, just realizing i would have been in this predator's control if i had taken that pill when he was here and he could have done anything and left before i even had a chance to call for help. i will most likely never date again and i feel like i probably need therapy. i am moving out of my current place and back in with my parents because of COVID so I won't be here much longer anyway, at this point im actually glad im moving in with parents for the time being and the predator does not know where that is although he might be able to figure it out he seemed like he probably wouldn't try to instigate anything i hope at least.
this is a throw away i will not be responding, just letting others know what happened. even when it comes to marijuana ladies be aware you can still be overdosed by an extremely high concentration never meet at your private home and if a guy takes any drugs for any reason be wary, if he offers you anything dont take it, all those things they warn you about when you date and don't let your guard down. this event really happened to me and I am so scared knowing this predator had intended to take advantage of me, even if his only intention were to just get me a little high, he was intentionally seeking to alter my state of mind above and beyond what I could reasonably control and he fucking knew it. i am glad i didn't take it while he was there but i was so so so stupid for taking it at all and not ceasing contact as soon as he offered it to me knowing i was already tipsy from the drinks at the bar. i dont know if anything will happen over this but from what the cop said its unlikely. im so ashamed of myself for this happening please don't be dumb about dating take it seriously take note of every red flag. i will never date again.
submitted by almostdateraped2020 to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 19:07 JugOrNot144 So I (20m) just started long distance dating her (18f) two weeks ago. What are some tips for long distance relationships?

2 weeks ago, she and I just started dating online using Discord to watch movies and chat. We're both enjoying it so far, but I don't want to lose this thing she and I have. This is my first time dating too (her second time) so I feel at a bit of a disadvantage. I mapped it out to about a 20 hour drive, no planes or trains cuz I can't rent a vehicle yet and she cant drive yet. Were in adjacent time zones so she's only 1 hour ahead.
How do we keep things going? Is it better to keep things slow, or progress to more intimate and deep discussion? Any suggestions for good online date ideas? What were some tips you, as a long distance relationship, wish you heard?
submitted by JugOrNot144 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 15:42 zharx28 Is it annoying?

So I’ve (22m) been dating this awesome girl (23f) for about three weeks now. We met online and I didn’t expect we would actually be able to date after a few weeks of just chatting. Lately, she has been busy with work and a volunteer work while I try to get by while I’m waiting for any updates from the jobs I applied for. So here’s my query: The past week, I have been greeting her some good morning gifs and sending her some cute IG comics that, I hope, will make her day a bit brighter than the usual monotonous work at home stress. I try to make it a variety by sending the corny ones and not just those flashy, glittery ones you find in Google. The thing is, I don’t know if it’s just my anxiety, but I think I’m starting to annoy her? With this whole socially distant conversation, I actually don’t know whether or not what I send her doesn’t annoy her and maybe, does it purpose of maybe letting her day start a bit better. I want to keep this going because I do like her. I don’t want to make her uncomfy or more stress that this pandemic already has worsened. Also, if I may ask some tips from anyone on how to just be confident, even if its through a screen. Because I for one, am having issues with figuring it out. I tend say eff it and do then later have a sudden realization of regret that oh sht this might have been the worst idea.
submitted by zharx28 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 15:03 xbbycruzx sick and tired of mixed signals. why are guys so complicated at 25??

About 6 months ago, i started speaking to this guy on tinder and it was v casual. We’d talk about all sorts and weirdly enough our conversations would always flow regardless of response time. 2 months ago, he decided it was time to chat over call and that happened a few times, which, went quite well. Then, at the end of July, we finally met, as the rules of lockdown weren’t as strict where i live. That first date was cool, but i didn’t think much of it, as i knew one date would not reveal any intention. It was until our third or fourth date where, even though i knew he was v enthusiastic about spending time with me, i felt he was using me for company. (lil bg info: he’s from germany and he’s contracted to stay for a yr. while that’s happening, he’s learning to practise his english). What i assume from this situation is that he downloaded hinge to date, just to improve his social skills n better his english. which is fine, but i would appreciate some transparency after spending a few hrs on these past few dates with him. So, to break the ice, i mentioned my issue about not wanting my time wasted (i did state that i was not ready for a relationship. It was only to safeguard myself from getting hurt). Even after hearing me say that, he said he didn’t imagine me to be his gf but he cares for me and is getting attached. Then when i hugged him, he said he liked me. I’m quite confused as to why he would say that. I did request some space from him bc i felt overwhelmed with emotion. However, we returned to speaking again and we recently met up (also was good), but his conversation starters on text are difficult and he takes half a day to respond (reply hrs have not changed from the beginning & i know he works ft). To anyone who’s patient enough to read this, are there any tips for this situation?
submitted by xbbycruzx to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 09:46 shesdumb UPDATE: I [21F] think I have a crush on my geeky guy friend [23M]

Hi! I'll link the original post here for anyone who hasn't already read it and is curious, but the original post is from months ago and I feel that I owe everyone an update since I've been asked for one multiple times (and I'm flattered by the curiosity!).
Or, for anyone who just wants a TL;DR: I'm generally a "party girl" and I have/had a crush on a male friend of mine who falls out of my social circle (he is a nerd, and I'm not even being malicious when I say that, he'd agree with me and wouldn't take offence either. I wish I could share pics of his action/anime figure collection on here because it's...huge. Like, insanely so. I'm estimating at least $75,000 worth, 100% unironically. But that's off-topic, so I'll launch into my update).
I'll be mentioning house parties, but I want to clarify that these are outdoor parties in an area that (at the time, sadly things have gotten worse since the return of school/work) had very little COVID-19 cases, so it was safe. Again, off-topic, but figured I should include a disclaimer. I'm outside of the USA.
Anyway. Last I left off, I was mentioning him having a house party. So, a few days before his house party, I was at another house party. This part gets embarrassing, but honestly, the whole post is embarrassing so it's okay. Anyway, whilst being drunk I tweeted something like..."have sex with me already". Essentially, dropping hints "very" "subtly" because honestly, I'm extremely cautious about guys (but also, I'm not so cautious drunk). And he liked that tweet, which is interesting because he rarely likes tweets. Yes, this is the world we're living in. "How'd you and Daddy fall in love, Mommy?" "Well, sweetheart, I tweeted about wanting to sleep with him, and he liked the tweet and then I knew we were soulmates!" But I digress!
So, he liked that tweet, and a day later messaged our group chat to remind us that if anyone wanted to stay the night, they could. Now, here I am thinking. Oh, yeah. We're gonna sleep together at this party. So, my best friend and I show up at this party a few days later, but it does not go as planned/expected.
First of all, this was not a good party. Not because of him. Honestly, he's a really fun host, but it was a bad party because a friend of mine; her boyfriend got super drunk and started being downright abusive to other people at the party, which basically, just...killed the mood for everyone involved (I won't go into specifics, but he was racist and a lot of people at this party were POC, including the host). Additionally, at one point we played a drinking game I created and that friend's boyfriend basically implied I would sleep with this guy friend (same one hosting, the same one I've been talking about this entire time) for "free" if he just asked, which was so middle school and also really awkward. Definitely not as bad as the other stuff, but yeah. I don't know how to explain it, it was just not a good night. I stayed over, but I didn't sleep with anyone and I didn't even really speak to him at that party. And then I left the next day.
So, after that...basically nothing happened until another friend of mine asked if we wanted to hang out a week or so later. So it's me, my other male friend (20M), my best friend (21F), and my "crush" (23M). At one point, my "crush" (I hate that word) and I were alone and you could cut the tension with a knife. Like, you know when you and someone else basically like each other, but no one is saying anything? Yeah, basically, but more sexual. Also, he and I are not good at flirting. Our attempts at flirting sound like...It's Always Sunny dialogue. I'm not elaborating, we're just awkward.
There was another party hosted by my best friend's sister a little while later. Me and the crush were actually joking about sleeping with each other over text (think, "joking"), but...here's where it kinda went...awry. So his best friend, messages my best friend, and basically hints that...he wants to sleep with her. In essence...my "crush" had been discussing the potential of sleeping with me at this party with his best friend, so I guess they thought that my best friend would sleep with one of them, too. (I apologize for the terrible and confusing wording). And I was already getting apprehensive about pursuing anything with my crush, so this basically just...yeah, that kind of pushed it over the edge. I don't know. It made things weird and a little sad. Like, it made it into something very cheap. And I have nothing against hookups, but I really do have a bond with these guys and it just...made it sad.
After that, we were supposed to make plans (as a group) to have a movie night, but it never happened. It just kinda fizzled because of the prior disappointment. The crush and I were flirting over text and by then, he was extremely obviously aware I wanted more than friendship, but I think everything just mixed so poorly that I was like...nah, we're better off friends.
That's probably why I didn't update for a while. So many people liked the post and wished me luck and I hate disappointing people. Something I do want to note though is just...I didn't lose interest because of "social circles" or anything. We definitely don't have the same friends. We have a weird friendship, because, again (and I am not tooting my own horn), I'm a known "party girl" in this area and he plays D&D and goes to conventions, etc., but that never mattered to me. I always thought it was a little odd just because of those differences, but it never made me think any less of the potential. In fact, one of the things I liked most about him is that I could be myself with him and he never thought I was weird (and I do have a little of "weird" or more masculine-interests, that I don't ever have other girls to talk to about, so, you know...it's nice to have that).
It was more, like...the emotional differences. I said this in the previous post, but...as much as I love being friends with him, he does lack...emotional depth...and I'm pretty much all emotion. We both tend to be irresponsible people in general too and I just don't think I could be with someone who didn't provide me with some sort of stability, even if I enjoy their presence.
In that same sentiment, I should mention, I know he has emotional depth deep down. His best friend (who I'm also close with), mentioned that the only girl he's ever dated, he dated for years and she was pretty manipulative and emotionally abusive. I have some toxic tendencies like that. So it's not just about my fear that he isn't someone who I could rely on, it's that I'm also not someone I think he could count on. And especially knowing he's a friend that I've come to love and value, I couldn't go out with him and unintentionally hurt him like his last girlfriend did (in fact, I don't want to date anyone until I feel I've worked through a lot of problems I have within myself; I have what is likely an undiagnosed mood disorder).
And then, there's also the "if u/shesdumb wants to sleep with me, maybe you can sleep with u/shesdumb's best friend!" thing that hurt my feelings a little and overall made me realize — no matter how much I like someone, it doesn't matter if there are differences that just...won't make us compatible...and I still love him as a friend, but that kinda tipped the scale. Anyway...
At the end of the day, I'd still be with a guy like him (i.e. someone I can be myself with and someone who makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts). But just not him in specific. I love his family and I love spending time with him, but I think I was probably just looking too deeply into something that isn't there and though I'm not perfect, he made it evident to me that this was not something that was going to work out. Evident that he wasn't suitable for me to date, and I'm not suitable for him either.
Sorry if this disappointed anyone :( I know I saw a few guys saying my post "gave them hope", which is sweet, and I have to remind you...I'm just one person! And I still love "nerdy" guys. I love any guy who is just...so openly himself and so do so many other girls. Honestly. Don't be discouraged because I'm a flake. This very guy I'm speaking about is probably going to end up with a stone-cold fox and I know that because he's hilarious and nothing is sexier than a good sense of humor. Just look at Hollywood. Actually, when we went to school together, a crazy-hot girl in my class mentioned wanting to hook-up with him just because he's that charming and ridiculously funny. So, you're not alone. I'm going to see him 10 years from now with a supermodel or something.
That's all for now...who knows, though. Maybe I'll have another update at some point. You never know. If anything at all was confusing, I'll answer any questions anyone has for me. Especially considering how long and disjointed this was...thanks for listening!
submitted by shesdumb to u/shesdumb [link] [comments]


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